What Hurts The Most: A Lexi Hansen Story
by JamieMac26
Summary: DEADLIEST CATCH: After a health scare and an order from his doctor, Sig finds himself on the Northwestern with a new boat mother and feelings that he hasn't felt in a long time. Part of the Lexi Hansen Chronicles.
1. Chapter 1

**So I've started another story, as you can see. This is a story in what I've dubbed 'The Lexi Chronicles', so if you haven't read Off In The Distance and Coming Home Again, I suggest that you do. There are many of the same characters, mainly my original characters, and there could be a chance of getting confused while reading. As always, I do not own anyone or anything that has to do with Deadliest Catch or the Discovery Channel. I only own my OCs and the situations that I chose to put the characters in. This one is a bit different in the fact that it is not told from Lexi's first person point of view…it is told more from Sig's point of view but I kept it in the third person. Lexi also in this story is told from a third person point of view. Another thing that I will be doing differently is that I will only be posting once a week (could be twice a week depending on my schedule) due to the fact that I am very busy and I really should not be writing now as it is, but I am and I want to share it with everyone. Please be patient with me. I will try and post on the weekends, either Saturday or Sunday but those days are not set in concrete. If there is a week I can't post, I will make it up to you by posting twice the next week. I will try really hard to stick to this but there may be a week or two (mainly on weeks where I have lots of tests) where I can't do what I promise. Alright, enjoy the story and as always, reviews are appreciated and ideas and thoughts are always welcomed. Also I'd like to thank NorthwesternSig for the idea and for her support. **

Sig sat in his car and stared up at the looming building. Hospitals in general were not his favorite place to be and with his family's history involving hospitals, he hated being anywhere near them. Bad things always seemed to happen in hospitals. He sighed and slowly climbed out into the unusually sunny Seattle day. He squinted in the bright sun, silently cursing the fact that he'd left his sunglasses at home, sitting on the kitchen counter.

Why was he here, why was he wasting this nice day getting checked out at a hospital? Oh yeah, because he had to go and open his big mouth around his daughter. He really needed to learn to keep things a secret from her. During king season, he'd experienced some minor chest pain. He hadn't really thought anything of it, except for the fact that this wasn't the first time that it had happened. He has had issues before and so when he told Lexi about the latest episode, she'd freaked out and made him promise that he'd get himself checked out, again, before the next season started.

He'd managed to put this daunting task off until his daughter had gotten home her little adventure with Crosby but the minute she found out he hadn't gone yet, she'd called his doctor herself and made him an appointment. He figured it was good that someone was watching out for him. His late wife had always been the one to keep his health under check and control but with her gone, the complete responsibility had fallen onto Lexi's shoulders. He felt bad that his little girl had the unfortunate chore of becoming an adult too quickly. She should have been able to enjoy her early 20s, instead of having to deal with the aftermath of a tragedy and taking care of her father. It should have been the other way around, he should have been the one taking care of her and he had tried, he really had, but his wife's death had hit him so hard. He had had a very difficult time moving on with his life. Now that Lexi was doing better, maybe it was time for him to start thinking about himself and doing something that would make him happy for a change. Sig shrugged his shoulders and started the trek across the expansive parking lot.

The sterile stench of cleaning products and antiseptics stung his nose. Why did the smell of hospitals have to be so nauseating? He followed the signs in the direction his doctor had given him. He was starting to get a little nervous. That should be a ridiculous concept. How could Sig Hansen, captain of a crab boat in the Bering Sea, be nervous? When it comes to one's health, he guessed that nerves were just a part of the picture. He took a few deep breaths and pushed open the door to the catheterization lab. He'd never had a procedure like this performed on him before and he was unsure of what to expect. His doctor had gone over a few things with him but it was all a foreign language and he didn't understand any of the medical jargon.

There was a women sitting behind the desk. She didn't smile. She didn't even look up at him right away. He ended up having to clear his throat to get her attention. She sort of just stared at him, like she had no idea why he would even be there, "Sig Hansen. Dr. Barker scheduled me for a coronary something-or-other for today."

"Of course Mr. Hansen, I just need you to fill out a couple forms and we'll call you when we're ready. Do you have any questions about the procedure?" She talked to him like he was stupid or incompetent and he was beginning to get a bit frustrated with her attitude.

He shook his head, "No, I think that I've got the basics." He turned his back to her before she had a chance to even comprehend his words. He took a seat in the far corner of the room. From his vantage point he had a good view of the other people waiting to be poked and prodded. There seemed to be a lot of middle aged men, such as himself, and he figured that maybe it was a good thing he was here after all. He glanced down at the forms in his hands. They all seemed simple enough, just his basic information and medical history.

He managed to get them all filled out before his name was called and with only one call to his daughter. See, he could do this taking care of himself stuff. Well, as long as he had a phone nearby and as long as Lexi was always waiting for his call. He grimaced as he realized that he had to take the forms back to the grumpy women, tapping loudly on her keyboard. He placed the clipboard on her desk, right in front of her and still, she didn't look at him, she just waved her hand and told him that he would be called shortly. He had known very little about dealing with the public until the Discovery Channel had decided to put a camera on his boat and that small act had exploded into national fame. He now spent plenty of the time with the public and he knew that if he treated any of his fans as the women had treated him, he'd probably have a very short line at the autograph table.

He hadn't been sitting long when his name was called. He looked towards the sound and a very pretty, young nurse was standing in a doorway holding a clipboard of her own. He smiled at that, maybe this really wouldn't be so bad. He shook his head. Stupid Sig, she had to be near Lexi's age and gawking at a girl his daughter's age was just disgusting. It wasn't unacceptable though, men his age married women her age all the time. They probably didn't have a daughter like he had and that changed everything. He pushed inappropriate thoughts from his mind as he walked past the nurse and then followed her down the hall and past her again as he entered an examination room. He was told to remove his clothing and put on the barely there hospital gown. He was told he could keep his underwear on, which made him feel better. He didn't like the idea of his old, white ass hanging out for all the nurses, young and pretty or mean and nasty, to see.

The pumped him full of pain-numbing drugs and he didn't feel a thing as the doctor inserted the catheter. He had to admit that it was kind of cool to see the dyes light up his arteries but it wasn't so cool to watch the doctor frown or sigh or shake his head as he looked around inside Sig's body.

After getting dressed and sitting, uncomfortably, on the exam table the annoying paper crinkling under his ass, the doctor walked in. Sig looked at Dr. Barker's face and didn't like what he saw. There was a frown crossing his lips and his eyebrows were squished together in concentration.

"It isn't the best news in the world Sig but it isn't the worst either." Dr. Barker took a seat in the only chair in the room. "You've got the beginnings of arteriosclerosis which simply means that the arteries in your body are starting to get a buildup of fatty plaque. This happens from excessive smoking and a lifetime of bad eating habits, all of which you have. Good news is that this can be treated with a change in lifestyle. Bad news is that you'll have to make these changes before I allow you to be out in the middle of the ocean for months. That is where all of your bad habits magnify and if you want to live to see grandchildren, I can't have you living the way you have been."

Sig did not like anything that he was hearing. He couldn't give up smoking and how was he supposed to eat healthy while on the boat. The food they stocked was for the crew and he just ate whatever was prepared.

Dr. Barker must have know what Sig was thinking because he answered the questions that were starting to form in Sig's head. "I realize that giving up smoking is going to be a chore, so I don't expect you to do it cold turkey or not smoke at all while on the boat. I, however, expect you to eat well and slow the smoking down, a lot. I also suggest that you have someone go out with you that will monitor your behaviors and keep you on track. I'm going to stand firm on his Sig. It is my job to keep you alive and get you healthy. This problem has been brewing over some time and if we don't start turning it around now it may be too late."

"You want me to have a boat mother aboard the ship?" Sig for some reason was a bit confused.

"If that's someone that will keep an eye on you, then yes, I want you to have a boat mother on board." Dr. Barker made a few notes in Sig's chart. "Didn't your daughter go fishing with you once? She's very good at keeping you in line, maybe you should take her along with you again."

Sig shook his head, "She's made it pretty clear that she has no interest in going fishing again. I can ask her but I'm fairly certain that she'll say no. Are you sure that is no other option? I can get my brother's to do the monitoring?"

Dr. Barker actually chuckled at that, "Sig I've been you're family's doctor for a few years now and I know you and your brothers well enough to know that anything I tell you or them will just be left at the dock, completely forgotten until you have another episode. No, you're brothers are not allowed to be the monitors. I want someone who will be there to specifically keep an eye on you and will be stubborn enough to stand up to your tantrums."

Sig did not like what the doctor was saying at all. Where in the world was he going to find someone who would be willing to go out onto the Bering Sea for two months with a stubborn crew and an even more stubborn captain?


	2. Chapter 2

**So, since I posted the first chapter to this story in the middle of the week and I told you that I would be posting on the weekend, I figured I'd post the second chapter today and not make you wait until next weekend. I'm trying very hard to stay ahead of myself with this story so that I can post every week and so far I'm doing that. I want to thank you all for the wonderful reviews and I want to thank everyone who took the time to read the story as well. Everyone have a great Labor Day Weekend and I will be back next week to post again.**

Sig sat at the bar of his favorite joint, slowly nursing a whiskey. Dr. Barker had given him a week to find someone and had scheduled an appointment to meet with them. He had said something about discussing a diet and a smoking cessation program. Sig couldn't believe that this was happening. He had known that something like this was bound to happen, he couldn't keep living the way he was and not have any negative side-effects but he only had a week to find a woman who would be willing to risk her life out on the Bering Sea. There weren't many men who chose to live this life but a woman, unless they were raised within this environment, they would be stupid to volunteer for it. He was mulling over what he was going to do when his pocket started vibrating. He reached in and grabbed his cell phone, his daughter's number flashing on the screen. "Hey kid," Sig answered.

"I thought you were coming home after your appointment? I made lunch." Concern laced Lexi's voice. "Is everything okay dad?"

Sig knew that he couldn't lie to her but he didn't want to tell her just yet. "Everything is fine, I should be home shortly. I just had to run a couple of errands. Keep the food warm for me, okay." He was already mentally slapping himself for keeping things from her.

Lexi knew that something was wrong and she could hear the sounds of a bar in the background. "Okay, just hurry home." She knew that whatever was bothering her father, he'd tell her when he was ready.

Sig hung up the phone and downed the rest of his drink. He pushed away from the bar and placed a few bills on the counter. He shoved open the door and narrowed his eyes against the sun when his phone started ringing again. He opened it, not even bothering to see who was calling. "This is Sig."

"Sig it's Phil, you didn't forget about our meeting with the producers today, did you?" Phil Harris' gravelly voice brought Sig back into the real world.

"Oh shit Phil, I did forget. What time is that thing again? I had a doctor's appointment today and the producer meeting just sort of slipped my mind." Sig cursed himself silently, he knew better than to miss a meeting with the producers of his show.

"Is everything okay man?" Phil asked, true concern for his friend evident in his voice.

Sig sighed, if anyone would understand his predicament, Phil would. "I've got some health issues, hardening of my arteries and the doc has said that I'm not allowed back out on the boat until I have someone aboard that can keep an eye on me. He's got a strict diet that I have to follow and he wants me to stop smoking."

Phil chuckled, "It seems that we are all slowly falling to pieces. We were once the kings of the Bering Sea and now it just seems like we're the geriatric crew that is barely keeping it together. Did you think to ask your daughter?"

"Yeah, but she really doesn't want to go and I don't blame her, I don't really want her out there, I worry too much about her. I gotta think of something though, the doc has given me a week to come up with someone. I have no idea how I'm even going to start looking. This isn't exactly something you can advertise in the paper for. Needed, woman to babysit skipper on board crab boat, oh and by the way, we'll be in the Bering Sea and you could possibly die." Sig ran a hand through his hair before opening up the door to his car. "This is stupid Phil. I'm not old enough to give up fishing."

"We'll think of something Sig. You won't have to give up the wheel just yet. We've still got years in us man. The meeting is at six and I'm told to tell you not to be late." Phil said.

"Thanks and I will be there." Sig snapped his phone shut and started his car.

* * *

Sig sat in the uncomfortable chair, his elbows rested on his knees. He was in a large room, waiting for the other captains to show up. When he had gotten home, he'd told both of his children what the doctor had said and they had both agreed to help him find someone. Lexi had even said that if they couldn't find anyone capable of doing the job up to her standards, then she would go out for the season and keep an eye on him. That made him feel better, knowing that no matter what, he had a backup plan. He wasn't keen on her giving up her time and her life to watch out for him, since she'd been doing that for the last five years, but he was grateful. He heard loud noises behind him and the boisterous figures of the Hillstrand brothers came crashing into the room.

"Sig," Andy Hillstrand called out. "What's up man?"

Sig smiled, he couldn't help but be in a good mood around his fellow captains. They reminded him of what he loved, what they all loved. "You two sure know how to make an entrance."

Johnathan Hillstrand cackled, "If you're going to enter a room, you better make goddamn sure that everyone knows that you've arrived. You okay man, you look a little pale?" Johnathan stopped and stared at his old friend.

Sig just shrugged. "I had a doctor's appointment today and it wasn't exactly the best news. I have some health issues and he's banning me from the season unless I find a boat mother."

Andy sat down next to him and patted him on the back, "That's easy, get Lexi."

"Not so easy since she doesn't want to go. She did, however, say that she would if we couldn't find anyone else." Sig leaned back in his chair, tipping the legs precariously.

"Sig, I think I've got someone who'd be perfect for you." Phil burst into the room, Keith and Monte coming in right behind him. "I was chatting with Keith earlier and do you remember George Armstrong, we used to call him Mac?"

Sig nodded his head, he remembered Mac. "Older guy, captained the Shining Sea until he died, right?"

Phil nodded his head, trying to catch his breath. "That would be him. Well Keith told me that his oldest daughter, who is friends with Keith's wife, is looking for work. She's been living in Dutch since her father died and now she wants to move back to Seattle but is need of money before she can make that jump. From what I understand, she spent a lot of time out on the boat with Mac and even captained some towards the end of his life."

Sig narrowed his eyes, trying to picture the face of Mac's oldest daughter. "How old would she be now, mid 30's?"

Keith piped into the conversation, "She's 38 and a widow. Her husband died quite a few years ago and she never bothered getting remarried. It has just been her and her daughter since Mac passed and they are tired of the life that Dutch has to offer. Her kid wants to go to college and there aren't many opportunities up in Unalaska."

Sig thought about it. She at least had experience in how a crab boat was run and she was probably used to the stubbornness and the disorderly behavior a crab boat crew. "How can I get a hold of her? I'd have to fly her down here before I can make any decisions and the doctor has to meet with me and her both before he'll okay anything."

"I'll get Florence to contact her and arrange everything for you. We'll have her here in a matter of days and hopefully everything will work out the way it's supposed to. We can't have the Northwestern go out for Opi's without its captain. It is way too soon for that Sig." Keith took a seat beside Sig.

"Thanks man. That would be great. The less I have to worry about between now and when we leave the better. I still don't like the idea of being forced to have a babysitter but at least having a cook on board will be nice." Sig looked around him at the faces of his fellow captains. He appreciated their support and was thankful for their friendship.

The doors near the front of the room opened and the producers of their show walked in. Sig leaned back in this chair again and prepared himself for the long and boring meeting that was about to take place.

* * *

"What's her name? What's she like?" Lexi bombarded her father with questions.

"I don't remember what she's like. It's been years since I've even seen her. She's about Edgar's age and has a daughter a bit younger than Brandon. Florence knows her fairly well and she's the one that is arranging her transportation down here." Sig had a headache, not to mention the fact that he felt extremely tired.

"Okay, but you didn't tell me what her name was. How can you not know that particular fact about the person who is going to spend two months cooped up with you?" Lexi flopped down on the couch next to her father and handed him a beer. "You might as well enjoy your last couple days of freedom. Once she shows up and you meet with Dr. Barker again…no more beer."

Sig glared at her, "You are a very cruel and ungrateful brat, did you know that?"

Lexi smiled and kissed Sig's rough cheek, "I know but you love me this way."

"Do I get to smoke too or are you banning me from that?" Sig looked at her with pleading eyes.

Lexi shook her head, "You've got most of a pack left. You might as well smoke what you've got."

"Her name is Emma Bishop." Sig pushed himself up off the couch and walked into the kitchen to find his pack of cigarettes right where he'd left them that morning. "What are you doing home anyway? I thought you and Crosby were going out tonight?"

Lexi, who had followed her father into the kitchen, opened the fridge. "We're still hanging out tonight. He had a few last minutes things to deal with and then he'll be over. Josh and his 'girl of the day' are coming over as well and we're going to watch a movie. Brandon and Jake are going bar hopping with some friends, so they won't be back until way late. Brandon said he might just crash at Jake's. It all depends on what time they decide to call it a night."

"Brandon and Jake have been hanging out a lot lately. It's good to see that they've managed to get over what happened and have picked up where they left off. Josh's 'girl of the day', what does that mean?" Sig pulled his lighter from his pocket and with the cigarettes in hand, made his way towards the back patio.

Lexi sat down on one of the bar stools, cold pasta salad occupying her plate. "It means that Josh needs to learn to keep it in his pants. He just flits around from girl to girl, never staying with one for very long. He's what we call a player dad."

Sig rolled his eyes, "There are other words you could use to describe him. Calling him a player is being nice. Why the tone of jealousy? I thought you and him were just friends?"

Lexi shot her dad a look, "We are just friends. I'm not jealous. I just don't want Josh to be stupid and I'm really tired of pretending to like whoever he's with at the moment. He insists that I meet them all and is constantly asking me what I think." She turned back to her salad, trying to ignore the grin that was sliding onto Sig's face. "Stop smiling. Nothing will ever happen between Josh and me. I'm with Crosby and I'm perfectly happy."

"I didn't say anything. I just wouldn't fault you if you were a tad jealous. You were with Josh for a long time and seeing him with other girls might be a little hard at times. I do not doubt your relationship with Crosby, I'm just saying." Sig flicked the lighter, bringing the flame to life.

"Josh was different when we were together and now, well, it's like I don't even know him. The way he's acting, you'd think he was repressed dating me. It just hurts a little, I guess." Lexi said quietly, her face bent down.

Sig walked back into the room, his cigarette still hanging, unlit, from his lips. "Lexi, you two were good for one another at the time. You don't need each other anymore and Josh isn't quite sure what to do with himself. You've got Crosby and you're happy and he's probably just looking for that same thing. He's just going about it the wrong way and hasn't quite figured that out yet. Give him time, he'll come around. He'll see what finding that one person can do for one's life."

Lexi leaned back and looked up at her father. "You really are quite good at knowing what to say and how to make a person feel better."

Sig smiled, "I'm only good at that when it comes to you. With everyone else, I guess I just get lucky sometimes."

Lexi playfully slapped at him, "You underestimate yourself. Dad, do you ever think about dating again?" It was a question that she had been thinking a lot about lately.

"I haven't really thought about it. What makes you ask?" Sig was a little shocked.

"I don't know. It's just crossed my mind a few times over the last couple weeks, especially over Christmas. I don't want you to be alone for the rest of your life. I can't stay here forever and you need someone to take care of you." Lexi swiveled around on her stool to get a better look at her dad, "You need to be happy too."

Sig wasn't sure what to say but he knew that she was right. He couldn't stay alone forever and he didn't want to. He wanted someone to be there when he decided to retire. He wanted someone to grow old with. "Well I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I've still got you around for awhile. That is, until Crosby takes you away from me."

"I think that you've got awhile then. He isn't interested in marriage, at least not right now. He has a plan and he's told me what it is but I guess we'll have to see on that aspect as well." Lexi slide off her stool and took her plate to the sink. "I'm going to go jump into the shower. Do you need anything?"

Sig shook his head, "No, I'm good."

"Okay good. Make sure to answer the door if Crosby shows up early." Lexi yelled over her shoulder as she ran up the stairs.

Sig watched her until she disappeared from sight. She had grown into such a beautiful women and he knew that it was only a matter of time before Crosby came to his senses and snatched her up before someone else did. His daughter's words scrolled through his mind. She was right, on many fronts. He was going to have to brush up on his dating skills if he thought he even stood a chance in finding someone. He was just a grumpy old fisherman who was gone for six months out of the year. This was going to be a challenge, but he liked challenges.

* * *

Sig was pacing. Florence, Keith, Emma and Emma's daughter would be here any minute and Sig was nervous. Lexi was in the kitchen with Crosby fixing up some appetizers. Sig paced his way into see them. "Do you guys have enough stuff? Do you need me to go and get you anything?"

Without looking up at him, Lexi waved him out of the kitchen. "We're fine. Stop pacing and go do something productive. Brandon's in the garage, why don't you go and see if he could use a hand."

Sig huffed and opened the patio door. "I'm going to smoke."

Lexi stared at him, "I thought you'd exhausted your supply? You haven't been rifling through Brandon's things have you?"

Sig ignored her and slide the door closed behind him. Outside it was chilly but not uncomfortable. It was a typical Seattle winter, wet with a bit of a bite in the air. Sweater weather as Lexi liked to call it. Why was he so damn nervous? He was never nervous. Except that he'd gotten nervous going to the doctor's and now he was nervous to meet his new boat mother. That was it, he was losing his nerve. The infallible Sig Hansen was losing his edge. His hands were shaking as he pulled a cigarette out of the pack he'd taken from his son's room. He lit it and took in a long, deep breath, feeling the smoke plug his lungs.

Sig heard the doorbell through the glass. He slide the door open and tried to get a glimpse of Emma and her daughter. He saw Lexi come into the kitchen. She stopped in the middle of the floor and looked at him funny. "What," he said defensively.

"Are you coming in or are you going to continue sulking? You should also put those back in Brandon's room, you aren't supposed to be smoking and you know that." She walked over to him and pulled the door open wider, waiting for him to step into the house. "She seems nice dad and I doubt that she bites."

Sig winkled his nose at her as he stepped back inside. "Here take these. Did you leave Crosby in there alone with them?"

Lexi took the cigarettes our of her father's hands, "He's fine. He seemed to know them both, besides that, he's in there with Keith."

"Do you think that this is a good idea? You could always change your mind. I'm not sure how I feel about having a stranger, who's a woman, on my boat. What about all the bad luck that is bound to bring our way?" Sig started pacing again.

Lexi put both of her hands on his shoulders and steered him in the direction of the living room. "Will you please calm down, you're being ridiculous and you don't really believe in all that 'women are bad luck' stuff. I've been on the boat many times and nothing has ever happened."

Sig dragged his feet slightly, "You're my daughter. The rules don't apply to family."

Lexi pushed on him harder, "Well then consider her part of the family. Isn't that how you see your entire crew, as family? She's just a new crew member. You don't want to have to give up fishing, do you?"

Sig stopped and turned to look at his daughter, "I can't give up fishing, not yet."

Lexi pointed towards the living room, "Then go."

Sig took a few deep breaths and proceeded to make his way towards his awaiting guests.


	3. Chapter 3

**So I realize that it's only Thursday and that Thursday is not techinally apart of the weekend but I figured that I had time today to post, so I'm posting. I will try and post next week's chapter on that Friday (I have the day off of work so that shouldn't be an issue) instead of on Saturday or Sunday so that you won't have to wait too many extra days for the next installment. Thank you to all the reviews and thank you to everyone who reads this story. It's different for me to be writing a story centered around Sig but it's getting easier the more I write and I actually enjoy it, a lot. Remember, I don't own anyone except my original characters. Enjoy!!**

As the faces of his guests came into view, Sig stopped short. Emma sat between Florence and Keith, a smile donning her face. Her dark hair bobbed about her shoulders as she made conversation with Crosby and laughed at something that her daughter said. Sig couldn't breathe. His heart started beating furiously, pounding against his rib cage. His words were stuck in his throat as he stood in the doorway and stared, dumbfounded. She was beautiful. He didn't remember her being so stunning.

Crosby looked up and saw Sig standing, just standing there. "Sig, this is Emma and Jordan."

Sig knew that he had to say something. He had to do something. He couldn't just stand there. He willed his feet to move and slowly inched his way into the room. "I'm Sig. It's nice to meet the both of you." Sig reached his hand towards her, taking it softly in his. Her skin was soft and he pushed back the urge to run his thumb across the back of her hand. "I hope your flight down here was uneventful. I know that those small planes can give you quite the bumpy ride."

Emma's smile widened, yet her cheeks started to turn a lovely shade of pink. "The flight was fine. I have to say that it's so nice to be back in Seattle. I've missed the big city."

Sig couldn't help himself. He just stared at her, not really hearing the words that were coming out of her mouth. Keith clearing his throat brought him back to reality and he made himself look away. "How long have you been living up in Dutch?" Stupid question, he knew the answer to that already. Oh well, it was something and it gave him an excuse to sit and defer the fact that he'd been staring.

"Um, we were there for about eight years or so. Mac didn't want to leave and with it being just me and Jordan, I felt it was better that we stick close to him. He got really sick towards the end, so I'm glad that I was around to be there for him." Emma's voice dropped off towards the end and she took a deep breath to stifle the tears. Jordan reached over and took her mother's hand in hers. "Sorry, it's still kind of hard."

Florence patted her shoulder, "We understand dear. Sig will you hand me that box of tissues?"

Lexi breezed into the room, a tray of drinks in hand, and must have heard Florence's request. She grabbed the tissues and handed them to Emma, along with a glass of iced tea. "It's unsweetened. If you want sugar I can go and get you some."

"Thank you," Emma took the tissues and the glass from Lexi.

Sig sat quietly and watched the exchange. He had to admit, he was very proud of his daughter. She had learned to handle herself very well. His gaze, however, did not stray from Emma for long. She was a petite woman but Sig had a feeling that she shouldn't be judged by her small stature. He was pretty sure that she could hold her own on a crab boat.

Lexi, sensing that her father was going to stay mute in the corner, figured she would fill Emma in on what her role on the boat would be. "So Emma, I assume that you know what a boat mother is and what her roles specifically are." Emma nodded so Lexi continued, "We have found ourselves in a bit of a situation. My father has to change his lifestyle drastically and he's only allowed to go fishing if he has someone there to keep an eye on him, to make sure that he's following doctor's orders."

Keith continued, "Basically you'll be babysitting Sig. He can be quite stubborn when it comes to change and can't be trusted to go at this alone."

Emma bobbed her head up and down, an understanding that she comprehended what her role would be. Towards the end, her eyebrows lowered in confusion. She pointed to Lexi, "Can I ask why you aren't going? You seem to be an expert in taking care of your father."

Lexi beamed but shook her head, "Last time I went was a bit too stressful, emotionally. It really isn't something that I want to be doing, even though I love spending time with my family. I am much happier here. He really is pretty simple to take care of. You just have to ignore his protests and tantrums." Lexi turned to look at Sig, who was wrinkling his nose at her. "He's a really good guy and he'll treat you like family. You'll feel right at home on the Northwestern in no time."

"So is there a special diet plan laid out and will I be cooking differently for the crew?" Emma was full of questions.

Sig figured it was his time to speak, "From what the doc has told me there will be a special diet. I'm not allowed to have the high fat, high starch, high sodium foods that the crew eats. I'm allowed coffee but no energy drinks and I have to cut my smoking by at least half." The list was daunting and just saying them aloud made Sig feel like the task was impossible.

"I have some wonderful recipes that would be perfect. Mac had to be put on a diet similar to yours and he hated it at first. I managed to tweak some things and he ended up really enjoying the food." Emma seemed to visibly relax the more she talked. "When are you planning on heading up to Dutch?"

"Probably here in a couple of weeks. There is always the all-important prep work that needs to be done." Sig said.

"Jordan," The younger girl turned to look at Lexi. "I was thinking that since you want to move to Seattle, after the boats leave you are more than welcome to come and stay with me. We could tour the University of Washington campus, or maybe look into some different schools. I could also help you look into maybe getting a job. It will give you a head start when you do officially move here."

Jordan grinned, broadly. "That would be awesome. I'd love that so much."

Lexi smiled and glanced at Crosby, who winked at her. She turned back to look at Jordan, who was virtually vibrating with excitement. "I've learned over the years that it's easier to deal with them being gone when you have a good support group. It will be nice to have someone here with me. This house won't feel so lonely."

"Emma, we have to meet with Dr. Barker day after next. He has to meet you and go over his plans with the two of us before he'll okay my leaving. Is that alright with you?" Sig secretly hoped that it was.

"If you're giving me the job, then yes, it's just fine with me." Emma smiled at him and her cheeks got a little bit redder.

Sig grinned, "As far as I'm concerned, you're hired."

* * *

Sitting next to Emma in the quiet of Dr. Barker's office was making Sig nervous. He really needed to get his nerves under control before the season started or he was going to be one huge emotional wreck. He jiggled his knee up and down to try to keep his heart rate steady. It was amazing how all of these seemingly small things were beginning to crack Sig's exterior. He was supposed to be tough. He was supposed to be scary. He wasn't any of those things at the moment and even he couldn't kid himself. Emma was flipping though a magazine, looking poised and at ease. Sig tried to calm himself down but with little success. He needed a cigarette but knew that his only stash was hidden in the trunk of his car and he really didn't have a good enough excuse to go out and get one. He also needed a really good stiff drink. Hmm, maybe he'd have to hit the bar later. Lexi wasn't going to be home and there wouldn't be anyone around to tell him he couldn't. Dr. Barker's office assistant called their names and herded them back into his office. If Sig thought the waiting room was bad, sitting in the doc's office alone with just Emma was downright fraying his nerves. He was fairly certain that his blood pressure was through the roof and he was just glad that he wasn't here for any sort of physical.

Emma noticed that the man sitting next to her hadn't stopped fidgeting since they'd arrived more than 20 minutes ago. She reached over and placed a hand on his knee, causing him to jump. "I'm so sorry. I was just trying to calm you down a bit. I didn't mean to startle you." She gave Sig an apologetic smile. "Are you okay?"

Sig concentrated on keeping his leg still, "I'm fine. Doctor's offices and hospitals just make me really nervous and uncomfortable. I've had some pretty horrific experiences involving them both."

"Florence told me about your wife and daughter. I'm sorry to hear that. She also told me about Lexi. She seems to be doing well." Emma wasn't sure how to approach the subject and she wasn't sure how the rugged captain would take to her asking.

A sad look passed across Sig's face but then he smiled slightly. "She bounced back amazingly well. It was a long, hard fought battle but she managed to come out of it a better person. The normal person can't even tell that she went through something like that, there aren't too many physical scars left and the emotional ones are healing, slowly, but they are healing."

Emma could tell just from watching him that he was very proud of his oldest child. "She's a beautiful, young woman. You must be so proud of her."

Sig's smile stayed in place, "I am. She gave up so much after the accident but she never once complained. She's been a rock, even though she should not have had to bear that kind of weight. We're trying to reverse that though, it's about time I step up and be the parent and let her be young and enjoy her life."

"I'm sure she would appreciate that but it also seems to me that she doesn't mind taking care of you. I wouldn't try too hard to take that away from her just yet, she'll end up doing that on her own. How long have she and Crosby been together? He's a nice young man. I met him a couple years ago and thought he was sweet and adorable back then. It seems he's grown, I guess I never realized how tall he was." Emma stared out the window behind the large mahogany desk.

"I think they've been together for close to a year now. It was this time last year that we did a crew swap and Crosby ended up working on my boat. It was also the same season that Lexi chose to come aboard and be boat mother. I guess the inevitable just sort of happened. He's a good kid and he seems to really like her. As long as he treats her well and gives me no reason to throttle him, then he's okay in my book." Sig looked at her out of the corner of his eye. She was easy to talk to and the more they talked the less nervous he felt. "Are you sure that you're okay with doing this? I don't want you to feel like you're being forced into anything." Emma looked at him and for a second his heart stopped. There was something in her eyes that drew Sig in. Something that he couldn't quite put a finger on but he wanted to find out what it was.

"I don't feel like I'm being pressured at all. In fact, I feel like you are doing me a favor by giving me a job when I so desperately need it. I love the ocean and I love being on a boat and I feel that I will be safe in your hands. I just hope that you'll be safe in mine." Emma winked at him and his heart started beating double time.

"I'm sure that my life will be just fine in your hands." Sig wanted to say more but at that particular moment the door opened and Dr. Barker walked in.

"So Sig, I see that you've followed my orders and who might this be." Dr. Barker stuck out his hand and waited for Emma to take it.

"I'm Emma Bishop. It's nice to meet you Dr. Barker." Emma looked up, smiling up at the handsome face.

Sig didn't like the way that the doctor was looking at Emma or the way that Emma was looking at the doctor. A pang of jealously twitched through Sig's body and he struggled with pushing it down. "She's an old friend of the crabbing community. She's been on boats before and she's more than capable of handling herself out on the Bering Sea. I'd say that I found the perfect boat mother." Sig figured he'd try to flatter her a little, maybe that way she'd pay more attention to him and less attention to the doctor.

Emma blushed at Sig's words and turned to look at her future boss. "I'm not sure I'm everything he says I am but I do have experience with sailing and I do know how to handle stubborn captains. My father was a crab boat captain and I went out with his crew many times."

Dr. Barker took a seat at his desk but his eyes never strayed from Emma's. "Well, I'm sure that you will have no trouble taking care of Sig here. He should behave himself for you. He knows what is expected of him and I'm hoping that he'll do his best to follow the instructions that I'm going to give him."

Sig made a face. "I'm going to do whatever you tell me to doc." Silently Sig thought, 'but what you don't know won't hurt you.'

Dr. Barker proceeded to explain all the finer points and details of Sig's new diet regime to Emma. She seemed to be lapping up every word that came out of his mouth. She leaned forward and placed her elbows on her knees, her shirt gapping slightly in the front, giving the doctor full access. Sig rolled his eyes. This display of flirtatious behavior was just disgusting. Sig leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. Maybe Emma wasn't quite who he was hoping she would be. If she could flirt this easily and openly with someone, maybe Sig wasn't so interested after all. He continued to sit quietly, just listening and hoping that this stupid meeting would be over soon.

The doctor stopped talking to Emma and turned to look at Sig. "I'd say that you are in fine and capable hands and I see no reason why you would have to stay back for the season. I release you to go fishing but I want you to come in for a checkup as soon as you get back. I'm sure that Emma here will be more than happy to see that you oblige to that request."

Sig just nodded his reply and he and Emma stood up and bid their farewells to the 'good' doctor. Once outside, Emma turned to look at Sig, "So he was nice."

Sig groaned, probably a little too loud, "He's fine."

Emma just shrugged her shoulders and waited for Sig to unlock the car. "What do you say to a little lunch, my treat?"

Sig shook his head, "I don't think so. I should be getting back home. I've got quite a bit to do on the house before we leave and there isn't that much time left. Besides, I promised Lexi that some of those things would actually get done this time." Sig really wanted to have lunch with Emma, he did, but he wasn't sure that after watching her with the doctor that he could stomach sitting alone with her. He wasn't sure that he'd have anything to say and he wasn't sure that he wanted to say anything to her. Wasn't it strange how one simple, innocent situation can change a person's perspective on someone?

* * *

Sig walked into his house though the garage and threw his keys down on the counter. He walked over to the fridge and pulled out a beer. He heard footsteps behind him and whirled around. "Brandon, I thought you were out with Jake."

Brandon looked at his dad funny, "I didn't think you were supposed to be drinking? Jake is on his way over and then we're headed out."

"I'm not supposed to be drinking, so please don't tell your sister. Are you going to be home tonight?" Sig twisted the cap off the bottle and took a long swig.

Brandon just shook his head and sat down at the counter. "I don't know. You never know when it comes to Jake and when Josh joins us, like he's doing tonight, then anything is a possibility."

"Is Josh on the hunt for another new girlfriend? Lexi tells me that he goes through girls like they are going out of style." Sig set the bottle down and leaned into the counter, facing his son.

Brandon laughed, "He's had his fair share of women, that's for sure. He claims that he's just living everyday to its fullest and has no plans on settling down with anyone anytime soon. I asked him how he can go from being in a long-term relationship to not being in one at all. He told me that he didn't realize how much work it took to have a real relationship with someone and that he's much happier not working at all and reaping all the benefits."

Sig chuckled, "Spoken like someone who doesn't have a clue."

"Jake's almost just as bad…it's crazy going out with the two of them. I enjoy the attention we get from women but, I don't know, I guess you taught me better than that." Brandon fiddled with the keys in his hand.

Sig reached over and patted his son on the shoulder, "It just means that you've matured and grown up. I'm proud of you son, however, don't turn all of those pretty ladies away, you are a man after all. We do have needs."

Brandon made a face at his father, "And we won't be discussing those needs."

Sig laughed, "Alright, I won't bring it up again."

Brandon cleared his throat, "So dad, what about you? Lexi tells me that you were staring at your new boat mother, a lot."

Sig grumbled, "I just thought that she was attractive, that's all. Don't read too much into what your sisters says, more than likely she's just jumping to conclusions."

The doorbell rang and Brandon pushed himself away from the counter and stood up. "Umm, hmm, sure dad, you just keep telling yourself that."

Sig threw the cap to his beer at the form of his retreating son. Had he really been that obvious? If both of his children had noticed, did that mean that Emma had as well? And if Emma noticed, then her behavior at the doctor's today just proved Sig's point. He wasn't so sure he was going to enjoy having a woman on board his boat after all.


	4. Chapter 4

**So I realize that it is not Friday, that it is Wednesday, but I have a paper that needs to be written and turned in by next week and I've only just started it. So I figured that since I will be busy this weekend that I would post this chapter today. Also, the next two chapters are a bit shorter and they would fall under the term 'transition', so I will be posting both of those chapters next week. Hopefully, chapter five will be posted on Monday and Chapter 6 will be posted next Friday (this of course all depends on how far I get on my paper.) Thank you all again for the reviews…they are very much appreciated. So enjoy and remember that I own nothing!**

Lexi stuck her head through the doorway of her father's room, "Did you double check and make sure that you've gotten everything that you need. I don't want any phone calls bemoaning the fact that you forgot your lucky this or your luck y that. You'd think that by now you'd learn what to pack and what to leave home and you'd think that you'd have it down to an art. Also make sure that you take a lot of gum…." She stopped talking and stared at her father. He was standing in the middle of the room, just staring. Lexi was fairly certain that he hadn't heard a word she'd said. "Dad…" She said a little louder, "Are you alright?"

Sig turned to look at her, "What," Confusion written all over his face.

"I asked if you're okay." Lexi walked into the room and sat down on the edge of his bed. "You seem to be deep in thought. Anything in particular, or anyone, that might be on your mind?"

Sig rolled his eyes, "Will you stop. I have no interest in Emma. I was just thinking about all the things that are going to need to be finished before we set sail and I'm not sure that we're going to have enough time to get them all done." Sig mentally kicked himself for saying Emma's name and completely giving himself away. Now, for sure, Lexi would know what had actually been on his mind.

"Sure dad, you just keep telling yourself that you have no interest in Emma. You've been talking to her a lot over the past couple of weeks. Not to mention the fact that whenever her name is mentioned you go that really funky red color and then you get all grumpy when someone tries to tease you about it." Lexi couldn't help but grin at her father.

"What I need are kids that respect their parent and stay out of his love life, or lack thereof. I have to talk to Emma so that we can get everything in order and I don't go any 'funky' red color. Are you going to help me or are you just going to sit there and smirk at me like you've won some petty battle?" Sig was frustrated with the fact that his daughter was right. He couldn't get his mind off of Emma, no matter how hard he tried and the more he thought about her the angrier he got with himself. He was pretty certain that a woman like Emma would be interested in someone, anyone, besides him. He was just a crotchety old man and she was a very beautiful woman with so much to offer. He was pretty used to living on his own, granted his kids were still around but he was basically on his own, and he wasn't sure that he could stand or tolerate someone new coming into his life and changing the way he'd been doing things for the last five years. He rolled his eyes at his daughter's laughter and threw a pair of rolled up socks at her.

"Hey, don't you start something you can't finish and or win old man. I may be smaller than you but I could so take you." Lexi giggled and threw the socks back at him. She suddenly got quiet and Sig gave her a sideways glance. "Are you gonna go visit mom before you leave?" She practically whispered, changing the atmosphere in the room drastically.

Sig nodded his head, "I planned on it. Do you want to go with me?"

Lexi sat there, not saying anything. When she looked up at her father, small tears were already sliding down her cheeks. "Why does it still have to be so hard? Some days I can think about her and be just fine, almost happy reliving the wonderful memories but other days, I do this." She swiped at her cheeks, trying to rid herself of the tears.

Sig's heart broke a little. He knew it was hard for him, he still had bad nights were he couldn't sleep because of thoughts of her but he hadn't realized how hard it still was on his kids, especially Lexi. "Kiddo, it's always going to be a little hard and you are always going to miss her. The pain never really goes away but, eventually, it will sort of just become a dull ache. You'll always know it's there but we can go on living without too much disruption."

Lexi sniffled and Sig handed her a tissue. "I want to go with you when you go. I realize that you probably want some alone time but I haven't been over since I took Brandon and I really want to see them again."

"You don't ever have to give me a reason to go see your mom and sister and I don't ever need alone time from you." Sig reached over and pulled Lexi to him, wrapping his arms around her and rocking her back and forth like he used to when she was little.

Lexi allowed her father to hold her, relishing in the comfort that he brought. She would miss this and miss him while he was away and so she knew that she had to lap it up while he was still here. She also appreciated the understanding and the patience that he gave her. He knew that she still struggled with the accident and with the deaths on a daily basis. She was trying though and it really was getting better, but everyone has bad days now and again. Her dad knew his and took it all in stride and she really did love him more for it.

* * *

Sig placed the single red rose on top of the headstone. "So I'm about to embark on an adventure that I'm not quite sure I'm prepared for and one I'm not sure I can wrap my mind around yet. Honestly, I wish you were here so that I didn't have to deal with this. I wish you would have been there to hold my hand when the doctor told me about my health issues. I wish you were here now to come with me on the boat so that I didn't have to have someone else take your place. I'm scared and I hate admitting that fact. I'm not sure that I'm ready to move on without you. I don't know if I can handle a life with you not in it. I realize that I have no choice. I realize that no matter what happens in the next couple months, you won't be here waiting for me. I miss you so much honey. We all miss you so much. Lexi is doing well though, you'd be proud of her. I'm sure that she's told you that she's not dating Josh anymore, I'm sure that you're happy to hear that, and that she's with a very nice guy. He's a fisherman, I know you didn't want her to end up with one, but he's good to her and she seems really happy." Sig wiped at his eyes, he was trying to keep his emotions under control but he was having a hard time. He sniffled a couple times, "Watch for me. I will be coming back and I want you to keep an eye out for the boat." Sig glanced over at Lexi. She was sitting on the grass, her back up against her sister's grave stone. She was talking animatedly but her eyes were red from unshed tears. She was trying to be strong but it's hard to be strong when you are surrounded by memories of loved ones who are no longer with you. Sig figured it was time to go. He brought his hand up to his lips, kissing his fingers softly. He placed his hand on top of his wife's grave marker, "I will always love you." Sig looked out at the ocean. It was a reminder that he had a fast approaching crab season to contend with and he also knew deep down that he would come back a different man. He wasn't sure what kind of different he would be but he knew that something in his life would change. He just hoped that he was ready for that change but at the same time he was scared of letting go of the past, of letting someone else into his life, of possibly replacing the one person who had stood by his side for so many years.

* * *

Sig sat at the bar in the Elbow Room. It felt good to be back in Dutch and to be preparing for the upcoming season. He was actually anxious to get things underway. Emma was supposed to be meeting him here in a few minutes. He looked down at the glass he held between his hands. He tipped his head back and downed the remaining contents. A little liquid courage never hurt anyone. He felt someone sit down next to him and his heart started to race ever so slightly. He glanced over out of the corner of his eye and relaxed when he saw Lexi place her elbows on the counter.

"You shouldn't be drinking and you really shouldn't be drinking like that." She didn't even look at him when she spoke but waved for the bartender. "I guess it won't hurt you too much to have a drink or two before you leave town." She ordered two beers and set one down in front of him. "How is it that I forget how hard it is to watch you guys leave? It's not like I haven't done it a hundred times but each time seems like the first."

"Well, you keep adding people that you need to say goodbye too. It used to be just me and your uncles and then you added Josh and now you've got Crosby and your brother. The more goodbyes you have to make the harder it is. That's just the way this game is played kid." He took a swig of his beer before turning to look her in the eye. "Being home will be a bit easier this time around though, you won't be alone."

Lexi nodded, "I'm really kind of grateful that Jordan wants to come back to Seattle with me. It will very much be a distraction and that is something that I am in desperate need of. What time is Emma supposed to meet you here?"

Sig looked at his watch, "I'm guessing any time now. I told her 7:30 and we've come and gone by that time now. Why aren't you with Crosby? And why do I feel like I'm always asking you that question?"

Lexi giggled, "You don't pay any attention when I tell you things. Crosby had some things to do on the Wizard but he's going to meet me here when he is finished. Josh is also going to be here pretty soon."

"So what you're saying is that if I listened to you the first time around you wouldn't have to repeat yourself time and again when I ask stupid questions?" Sig smiled and took another drink. He wanted to smoke, he always smoked in the Elbow but with his daughter sitting next to him, smoking was out of the question. He'd just have to make do with the fact that she was allowing him to drink.

"You got it pops. So take this as a lesson learned and listen to me next time." She smiled back at him.

Sig became somber, "There is still time for you to change your mind. We can always call the whole thing off with Emma, no harm no foul, and you can join me and your uncles and your brother." Sig was pleading and he was stalling. He knew what her answer would be but he still crossed his fingers just in case.

"Dad, we've been through this countless times. I'm not going to go out there. As much as you want me to and as much as a part of me wants me to as well, it just isn't something that I can bring myself to do again. It was too hard last time and as hard as it is for me at home, it's easier than being on the boat." Lexi didn't want to hurt his feelings. She knew how bad he wanted her to go but it was something that she knew would end up being bad for her.

"I do understand, I just keep hoping." Sig stuck out his bottom lip, enticing a smile from his daughter.

"I'll stay in Seattle where you can miss me like crazy and then that way you'll actually want to see me when you come home." Lexi reached over and punched him in the arm.

"Like I could ever get tired of your smiley face," Sig feigned hurt as he rubbed the spot she had just hit.

Sig watched as Lexi turned at the sound of her name. He saw her smile the moment she saw Crosby. He watched as she stood up and quickly made her way towards him. He watched as Crosby took her in his arms and hugged her like she was the only one in the world that he wanted. Sig shook his head. He remembered feeling that way about his wife. He wanted to feel that way again. He wanted to be able to hold someone. He wanted someone to be able to come home too.

He was right in the midst of these thoughts when Emma appeared in the doorway of the bar. It could have been this thoughts, it could have been the alcohol he'd had. Whatever it was, it was affecting all of his senses. His heart stated pounding against his ribs and his cheeks started to burn. It was a good thing that the lighting in this place was so bad. He couldn't tear his eyes away from her and couldn't help but admire the fact that she was so beautiful. She had a baseball cap pulled down low on her head and she was bundled up in layers of clothing. Sig didn't think that any of it detracted from her looks, to him, she only looked better. She was a woman he could see himself with and that thought frightened him, a lot. He wasn't sure that he was supposed to be this attracted to another women, not yet, not this soon after his wife's death. It didn't matter though, he had tried to convince himself that he wasn't ready but being in the same room with Emma just proved to him that he was.

She saw him through the throng of people and pushed her way through the crowd to come and take a seat next to him. "Hey you," She smiled at him and his heart started beating faster.

He was pretty certain he was going to have a heart attack if she smiled at him again. God he was acting like a teenager, like he'd never seen a pretty girl before and like he couldn't believe that said pretty girl was talking to him. "You ready to go back out and battle the Bering Sea?"

Emma continued smiling at him, "I think I am, yes. It's been awhile but I have a feeling that I'm in good hands with you at the helm."

Sig blushed even harder. Now she was flirting with him, he wasn't sure what to do or say next. "I will do my best to get you and everyone else home safely. I hope that you brought along all of those recipes that you said you dad liked. I'm really not looking forward to eating healthy crap."

"Believe me Sig you won't even know that it will be good for you. I might even be able to tweak things so that your crew can eat it too and get enough calories out of it. When are we going to be doing the shopping?" Emma reached into her purse and pulled out a very long piece of paper. "I think I've written down everything that I'll need."

"I'll send Lexi with you tomorrow to do the shopping. She can also help you in the galley, getting it all set up to your liking. She can also get you acquainted with the boat and any of the areas that you'll need to access. She's a very good source of information and would be happy to help you in any way." Sig drank the last of his beer and looked longingly at the bottle.

"You might as well have another, you won't be able to have any once we leave port and you probably won't want any once we get back." Emma signaled the bartender.

Sig's heart swelled a little. She was slowly becoming more and more perfect. He had to be careful though. A crab boat was not the place to be starting some sort or romance. He needed to be able to keep a clear head. He had responsibilities and he had a goal to accomplish.

Emma tilted her head sideways a little and looked at Sig. "Are you okay?"

Hearing her say his name brought Sig out of his trance-like state. "I'm fine, sorry I was just thinking about where we were gonna look for crab this year."

"Oh, well I'm glad that it isn't anything to worry about. You just looked so lost and confused for a minute." Emma patted his arm.

"Nothing for you to worry about, I'm the one who's paid the big bucks to land on the crab. I'll worry about that and you will just worry about keeping me alive. How does that sound?" Sig grinned at Emma, his arm tingling from her touch.

"It sounds like you have the much harder job. I will see you tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of your beer." Emma pushed away from the bar and stood up. She waved at Sig as she disappeared out into the chilly Alaskan night air.


	5. Chapter 5

**So when I say I'm going to post on a certain day, apparently it means that I will post somewhere within the realm of that day but not necessarily on that day. I said I was going to post on Monday, I'm actually posting today. Basically, what this adds up to being is…I will post about once a week; expect for this week, I will post twice. This chapter and the next chapter are shorter and probably should be one, but I split them because I think that they flow better that way. As always, thank you to everyone who reviewed and to everyone who has read. Enjoy!!!**

"So I saw your dad with a woman last night at the Elbow. I'm assuming that she was his new boat mother." Josh dealt the cards as Lexi reached for a cookie.

"Yep, her name is Emma Bishop. She's very nice and I think that she'll be able to stand up to my dad and his famous tantrums." Lexi picked up her two cards and made a face. "I guess her dad was a crab boat captain. My dad seemed to know who he was as did Keith and your dad but I'd never heard of him." Lexi folded her cards and leaned back to watch the boys.

"Why are you folding, you were the small blind. What was his name," Josh threw in some chips, taunting his younger brother.

"My god Josh, what do you have?" Jake contemplated the raise before finally giving up and placing his cards on the table.

Lexi giggled at the display, "I folded because I had crap and because you had to go and raise it. His name was Mac Armstrong, I think. Mac was a nickname but I don't remember what his first name was."

"It's George. George 'Mac' Armstrong, he was the captain of the Shining Sea." Crosby threw in enough chips to meet Josh's raise. "I call, let's see the flop."

"Wait, wait, wait…I said deal for me not play without me." Brandon tripped over his own feel trying to reach the table before the flop was shown.

Josh looked at me, "So who was the one playing out of turn then. I just dealt for Brandon. You are the one who can't seem to play when it's your turn."

Lexi crinkled her nose, "Shit, that means that I was big blind and I totally folded for no reason. Well, I guess I made the right choice because you had to go and raise it."

"I told you that," Josh reached over me to grab a handful of chips.

"You told me that I was small blind and why don't you just ask me to pass you the bag." Lexi grabbed the chips and shoved them at Josh.

Josh stuck his tongue out at her, "Maybe you should just pay more attention to the game for yourself instead of relying on me to keep you focused."

"Fine then, I'll go sit by Crosby." Lexi pushed against Jake to let her out.

Crosby laughed at the back and forth displays, "I think that you're fine right where you're at. I actually want to play some poker so I'm happy to let Josh deal with your distractions."

Josh and Jake both ohhhed at Crosby's words, "Well someone isn't getting any tonight." Josh laughed out loud and elbowed Lexi in the ribs.

Lexi swatted at Josh before turning to look at Crosby, "You and I are going to have words later." She winked at him, knowing full well that he had just been messing with her. "So are we going to see those cards or shall I continue annoying everyone at this table?"

Josh flipped over three more cards and Lexi leaned back. She enjoyed these moments that she had with the boys. It was nice to still be able to hang with Josh, even after what she had done to him. It was nice to have her brother back in her life and it was even nicer that Crosby got along so well with everyone.

Josh was looking at his cards and Lexi tried to sneak a peek at them. He held up a hand to keep her at arm's length and quickly hid his cards. He threw in a couple of chips and smirked at Crosby.

"Poker face dude, poker face," Crosby laughed as he matched Josh's bet. "What'll it be Brandon, you in or you out?"

Brandon studied his cards and then the faces surrounding him. He shook his head and laid his cards face down. "I'm going to let the two of you fight this one out, I fold."

Josh flipped over the turn card and his 'poker face' quickly started to crumble. He checked and the betting went to Crosby. Crosby now knew that he had this in the bag but decided to milk as much out of Josh as he could. He checked the hand as well and waited for the final card to be revealed.

* * *

"Well played man, "Josh reached across the table to shake Crosby's hand.

Crosby paused from racking in his chips to accept the friendly gesture. "If you worked on that poker face of yours you'd be pretty good at this game. Also it helps to minimize distractions." Crosby nodded in Lexi's direction.

She, however, failed to notice, as she was too busy studying the Oreo cookie that she held in her hand. "Wasn't there a movie where a poker player ate Oreo's and it was tell, or something like that." Josh placed the deck of cards in her front of her, "What?" She looked up at him.

"It's your deal and the movie is called Rounders." Josh waited for her to stop looking at him like he'd lost his mind and deal the cards.

"I don't want to play anymore. I'll sit this one out." Lexi pushed the cards towards Josh, "It's your turn to deal, again."

Josh groaned while the others laughed. He proceeded to deal the cards and the next round begun.

Lexi sat back and continued to eat her cookies. "By the way, Emma has a daughter."

Josh shot her a look, "Is there a reason you brought that up?"

"I was just keeping the conversation going. Geez is there any need to jump down my throat." Lexi kicked Josh under the table.

"God you always manage to kick me in the shin. So is she cute?" Josh threw in a couple chips and waited for Crosby to call his raise.

"I thought she was a pretty cute girl but then again I don't know if you want to take my opinion, you might want a guy's opinion instead." Lexi looked over at Crosby, "What did you think Cros, was she cute?"

Crosby stared at the cards in the middle of the table, "Why do you always have to drag me into things? I'm not entirely sure I want to answer that question, so I'll just stick with the fact that she's a little too young for my taste."

Josh looked over at him, "How old is she?"

Crosby shrugged his shoulders, "I have no idea but she doesn't look that old." He glanced over at Lexi, "You answer his question."

"She's younger than Brandon and Jake, so I'm guessing probably 21 or 22. I could be wrong though, her mom is 37 so she can't be too old." Lexi leaned over and caught a glimpse of Brandon's cards. "Eww Brand, you should so fold."

Brandon pushed her away, "Stop looking at my cards. If you're going to be bored you should go sit somewhere else."

"I tried that already. Crosby won't let me sit by him." Lexi reached for another cookie.

"Lexi, get over there. You're driving everyone else crazy. I'll let you look at my cards if you keep your mouth shut." Crosby motioned for her to sit by him and she shoved Brandon out of the way so she could slide out of the booth.

Lexi snuggled up to Crosby and he put his arm around her shoulders. "Her name is Jordan and I think that you'd really like her Josh."

"Why is it that Josh would like her? Brandon and I are sitting here as well and she's closer to our age, so why can't we like her instead?" Jake folded his cards and leaned around Crosby to glare at Lexi.

"How about we leave the poor girl alone? She does not need to be brought into your mesh of craziness." Phil's deep voice cut through the poker atmosphere.

All five seated at the table turned to look in the direction of Phil's voice. Sig and Phil stood there, arms crossed over their chests. "We've been looking for you lot for a while now. Lexi you need to go shopping with Emma and Edgar and then help Emma organize the galley. Crosby, Keith is looking for you. Brandon, Norman has a few things that he needs help with. Let's go kids." Sig stepped aside and waited for everyone to vacate.

"I guess the game is over," Lexi slide off the bench and waited for Crosby to slide out behind her.

"Did Keith say where he was at?" Crosby headed for the gear room, Lexi and Brandon right behind him.

"He said he'd be at the ship." Sig followed. "So who was winning?"

Crosby grinned, "I was and in the process I was destroying Josh."

Sig patted him on the back, "It's always good when we can destroy a Harris. They get to big-headed when we let them win."

Crosby laughed and climbed over the railing, waving goodbye to Lexi and her family.

Sig placed an arm around his daughter, "I realize there are only so many places that you can be in Dutch but it would be nice if you'd let me know where you are. That way I can call on you when I need you. Emma should be waiting for you on the boat. Make sure that you take Edgar with you, he should be down in the engine room."

Lexi nodded her head and headed for the Northwestern. She quickly found Edgar, who was where her father said he'd be, tinkering with the big diesel of the family boat. "You're supposed to go shopping with me and Emma."

Edgar looked up, grease smeared across his forehead, and shouted, "Give me about ten minutes and I'll be finished with this. Could you grab me a towel so I can clean up a little?"

"Do you know where Emma is?" Lexi was standing on the steps, straining to hear Edgar over the deafening roar.

Edgar pointed upwards, indicating that Emma should be in the wheelhouse. Lexi mouthed the words 'thank you' and headed upstairs to her father's domain.

She found Emma sitting in her father's chair, staring out the window. She looked to be deep in thought and Lexi was afraid that if she said something, she'd scare the woman. Lexi cleared her throat and waited for Emma to turn around and look at her. "It's a really good thinking spot, isn't it?" Lexi placed her hands on the counter, leaning her face close to the windows. "I spent a lot of time up here when I went out with them last year."

Emma glanced over at her, "I was just wondering what it would be like to be on a boat not captained by my father. It's strange to think that I'm going back out there again. I'm just hoping that I'm prepared for it."

"The Hansen clan is a pretty easy bunch to satisfy. Once you learn that my dad isn't as mean and or as gruff as he likes to let on and the fact that his tantrums aren't really that bad, you should be just fine." Lexi stopped and looked back over at Emma, "You do have to contend with the whole new diet thing though, never mind, he'll be a pain in the ass."

Emma laughed out loud, "Thanks for the vote of confidence. You're making me feel so much better about everything. Are you ready to do a little shopping with me?"

Lexi nodded, "As soon as Edgar stops screwing with the engines. He said he'd be done in a few minutes and then we can take off. "

Emma kept her eyes trained on the water, "I wanted to thank you for offering to take Jordan back to Seattle with you. She's so excited about it and I think that it will be good for her to get out of Dutch.

"It's my pleasure. It will be nice for me to have someone else in the house and it will make time go by a little quicker for me. I get so lonely and the house is so quiet that it seems to take forever for them to get back." Lexi turned around as she heard footsteps on the wooden stairs.

Edgar's head appeared, the grease smudge having been wiped away. "Are you two ready to go? We should probably get this done as quickly as possible, I have quite a bit left to do and I want to try and get as much done tonight as I can." Edgar opened the wheelhouse door and waited for the two women to make their way out into the cold.


	6. Chapter 6

**I am very sorry that this chapter is so short...but it doesn't fit with the next chapter so it got to be all by itself. I'm posting tonight because I'm not sure how my weekend is going to be and I have time at the moment. I will probably post again sometime the middle of next week and yes the chapter will be longer. Thank you to every who reviewe and to everyone who reads the Lexi stories...I'm glad that I can you all something to look forward to and to enjoy. Just a side note..the boys of Deadliest Catch are starting to make their way up to Dutch...the Wizard left this evening (9/23) at about 8:50pm Seattle time. I wish them safe travels and hope that they all return in the way they left, only maybe with more money in their pockets. With that said, enjoy the story and remember I don't own anything expect my own characters. **

"You ready," Lexi hoisted herself up onto the counter near her father's captain's chair.

Sig looked up at her, "I have no idea but I'm just going to wing it. I'm getting antsy to go fishing but I'm not sure how I'm going to handle the food issue and the whole not smoking thing. I have enough patches though to supply an elephant with nicotine…if we happen to run across an elephant."

Lexi threw her head back and laughed, "An elephant out in the middle of the Bering Sea. If you happen to run across one, make sure that you get a picture. That will be one for the record books. You'll be fine dad. You're a tough Norwegian and there is no reason why you can't do this and completely succeed at it. You've wanted to quit smoking for a long time now and this just gives you the perfect excuse or reason to do so."

"When are you leaving?" Sig reached across Lexi to grab an old battered up notebook.

Lexi picked it up before he could and started to flip through it. "How can you read granddad's writing? It doesn't even look like anything. I'm leaving here in a few hours, I'm just waiting for Jordan to get some stuff together and say goodbye to her mother. I also have to run down to the Wizard and say goodbye to Crosby. Ohhh, I can read this."

Sig snatched the notebook from her hand, "It's in dad's chicken scratch and it's a combination of English and Norwegian and you should be able to read both. You haven't lost your ability to read Norwegian have you?"

Lexi shook her head, "I never could read it very well but I can pick out certain things and get the gist of what someone is trying to say. Are you leaving in the morning?"

Sig nodded and reached behind him for a map that was just as old and battered at the notebook. "We will be heading out at first light. There isn't any reason to go out tonight, besides there is supposedly a storm blowing in but it's supposed to blow by pretty quick. Will you hand me that pencil?"

"Have you ever considered getting rid of that stuff? It looks like it's about to fall to pieces and they can't be useful anymore, can they?" Lexi tried to lean over to look at the faded writing on the map of the fishing grounds from 30 years ago.

Sig looked at her, "Of course they are useful. The crabs tend to follow a pattern and those patterns are usually repeated. This gives me timeline for the last 30 years and there isn't a chance in hell that I would give this stuff up. You have a lot to learn child."

Lexi looked through the glass in the door behind her, "Emma is here. Do you want me to show her where she will be sleeping? Speaking of that, how are you handling those sleeping arrangements?"

Sig started to blush, the thought of Emma sleeping just feet from where he would be was going to be enough to cause dreams that even he didn't want to think about at the moment. "We've managed to move things about some. She'll be sharing a room with Jake and Matt will now be sharing with Edgar and Norman. Nick and Brandon will take the other stateroom with one of the cameramen. It was the best we could come up with, we don't have the room for her to be by herself and she isn't related to anyone so we can't just throw her into a room. She knows that she has a share a room with one of the deckhands and she seemed pretty okay with it."

"If you are so set on the whole 'not having feelings for Emma' thing, you really need to stop blushing every time her name is mentioned. It's a dead giveaway and you are so transparent. Why don't you just give into those feelings and pursue her a little?" Lexi nudged her dad with her foot, which in return received a classic Sig scowl.

"Don't you have something, somewhere you could be doing? You really should give your old man a break. I'd have no idea how to pursue her. It's been years since I dated and the last one was your mother and she pursued me…so I'm clueless." Sig's head was down, trying to hide the redness in his cheeks.

"I'm fairly certain that you could figure it out and don't even try to tell me that she wouldn't be interested in an old man like you. She'd be way interested and I'm fairly certain that she already is interested. You just need to be you and she won't be able to resist that Hansen charm. Just don't be too much of a grouch and don't yell at her." Lexi jumped down from the counter and pushed open the wheelhouse door. Sig made like he was going to protest or comment but Lexi shut the door before he could. She climbed down the ladder and jumped down on the deck in front of Emma. "I'm here to show you what will be home for the next couple of months. Are you sure that you're ready to go out there…" Lexi pointed out towards the vast ocean, "With my crazy family?"

Emma giggled, "I think that I can handle your father and uncles. The question is, are they going to be able to handle a woman who isn't afraid to tell them what to do?"

Lexi shook her head and laughed, "No, they're the ones that are used to being in charge. You'll throw them off big time if you try to take control."

* * *

Josh was making his way back to the Cornelia Maria when he happened to notice something moving in the dark out of the corner of his eye. He turned his path of destination and headed for the Northwestern. Pacing in front of the long white boat was a girl. She was short but looked athletic. She had long, dark hair that was tied up into a pony tail and her petite body was covered in an oversized hoodie. Josh's curiosity got the better of him and he carefully approached her.

She spotted him, "Hey, do you work on this boat?"

Josh cocked his head in the direction of his father's boat, "Mine is the teal one over there. This is the Hansen's boat. Is there someone in particular you're looking for?"

She nodded her head but she seemed to be in a hurry or nervous, he couldn't quite tell which. "I'm waiting for Lexi Hansen. Do you know her?"

"Yeah, I know her…" Josh stopped talking as a light bulb clicked on inside his head. "You must be Jordan, the new boat mother's daughter. Lexi mentioned something about you going back to Seattle with her. I'm Josh Harris." Josh extended his hand towards her and watched as she gingerly took it.

"Do you think it would be okay if I went aboard this boat?" Jordan pulled her gaze away from Josh's and focused it back onto the boat before her. "I don't want to miss the plane and I'm afraid that if we don't go now, then that will be the case."

Josh laughed, "Don't worry. Lexi is always on time. That girl has an internal clock that seems to never be wrong. I'm sure that she'll be appearing here any minute. You've got nothing to worry about." As he was speaking, Lexi stuck her head over the railing. Josh pointed up at her, "See, I told you so."

"Jordan, you can come up if you want. There is no reason for you to be standing out there in the cold. We've got a little bit of time before we have to leave and I've got a couple more things to do. You're mom will give you a tour if you want. Hey Josh." Lexi motioned for Jordan to come aboard and Josh cautiously helped her climb up over the rail.

She turned to look down at him, "Thanks. I appreciate your help."

"Anytime, "Josh grinned and turned to walk away but not before giving Jordan one final look over his shoulder and slowly shaking his head.

Lexi noticed the small gesture and smile danced across her face. "So I see that you've met Josh. He's a good guy, a little on the strange side at times but sweet." Lexi opened the gear room door and waited until Jordan had walked inside before closing it behind her. "Your mom should be in the galley, which is right through there and if you need anything, I'll be up in the wheelhouse. I won't be long, I just need to say goodbye to my dad, my brother, and my uncles." Lexi brushed past her and climbed up the steps. She spotted everyone she needed to say goodbye too, huddled around her father as he continued to bury his head in old, turn of the century notebooks. "Guys, do you think you can pull yourself away from that stuff long enough to give me a hug."

Four faces turned to look at her and they all seemed to break out into grins at the same time. Edgar walked over to her, picking her up in his arms and squeezing. "Take care of everything and everyone, all right." He kissed her forehead as he set her back down on her own two feet.

Lexi rubbed Edgar's head, "No worries. Everything will be as you left it. Just make sure that you stay in touch. I don't want any reason to yell at you when you get back."

Norman and Brandon pushed past Edgar and wrapped their arms around Lexi. "It's always hard to say goodbye to you. I wish you were coming with us." Norman quietly said into her ear.

Lexi looked from her uncle to her brother and a sadness passed over her. "I'm going to miss you two so much. Be good and try not to get into any trouble…" Lexi looked her brother directly in the eye, "Brandon."

Brandon held up his hands in defense, "I will be an angel. Cross my heart."

Edgar scoffed in the background and Lexi laughed. She shook her head, "You're on a crab boat, you can't be too much of an angel or you'll get walked all over."

Brandon poked her in the ribs and Lexi swatted at his hands. She looked past Norman and Brandon, directly at her father. Lexi grinned.

Sig didn't like the grin. He knew that there was something brewing behind it. "I'm not saying goodbye to you until you wipe that stupid grind off of your face."

Lexi feigned hurt, "What?" I wasn't going to say anything." She placed a hand over her heart and pretended to look sincere.

Sig rolled his eyes and went back to his notebooks. "I'd play father at the moment and tell you to stay out of trouble and all that but…" He looked up at her, "I know that I have absolutely nothing to worry about." He stood up and pulled her into his arms. "I'm going to miss you kiddo." He softly kissed the top of her head.

Lexi held onto her father, willing the tears to stay at bay. However, they had a mind of their own and two slowly trickled down her cheeks. She sniffled and looked up at Sig. "Don't play too hard to get. If she shows interest in you, be easy."

Sig frowned, "See, you had to go and ruin the nice moment we were having. As far as Emma is concerned, she's a crew member and I don't date crew members."

Lexi wrinkled her forehead, "That's because up until this point all of your crew members have been men. Emma would be disappointed if you started dating men. Hell, you'd have a lot of women upset if you started batting for the other team."

"Don't you have a plane to catch?" Sig pushed her away playfully, "And you know what I mean."

Lexi laughed and leaned forward to kiss her father's stubbled cheek. "I love you too dad. Catch lots of crab and get home quickly." She waved goodbye and disappeared out the wheelhouse door.


	7. Chapter 7

**My goodness, I'm actually posting the day I said I would. I am amazing….:) I haven't a lot to say, other than thanks to everyone who reviewed and to everyone who reads. I don't own anything that has to do with DC or Discovery. I hope you enjoy. **

Sig sat in his captain's chair, leaning as far forward as he could without slipping to the ground. He looked to be in deep concentration and Emma was afraid of disturbing him. They had left Dutch only a few short hours ago but already Sig was in full fishing mode. Emma had come to his wheelhouse to see if he had a special request for dinner. She figured that she'd make him whatever he wanted before she forced him onto a diet that he was obviously dreading. She took a couple tentative steps towards him, trying desperately not to make any noise for fear of scaring him. She mistook the fact that she was a on a boat and they didn't always cooperate when one was trying to be stealthy. The boat pitched to the right, sending Emma crashing into Sig's chair.

Sig looked up at her with a slightly startled expression on his rugged face. "Are you alright?" He stood up and helped Emma regain her balance.

Her face turned a bright shade of red, "I'm fine. I guess my sea legs haven't quite returned to me yet. I'm sorry if I disturbed you but I came to ask you if you wanted something special for dinner. Anything, the diet doesn't start until tomorrow."

A grin slipped onto Sig's face, "Anything, huh? How about something that is greasy and fatty and tastes really good. I don't care what it is. I just want something completely opposite of what I have to eat for the next two months."

"All right, I think I can handle that." Emma leaned up against the counter closest to Sig.

He tried to ignore her but her scent was driving him crazy. What in god's name was he getting himself into? He had a really suspicious feeling that he wouldn't be able to resist her for long. He wasn't even sure that she was interested in him. However, he was starting to think that maybe he wanted to know the answer to that question. "How are the guys treating you? Are your accommodations with Jake going to be okay?" Sig figured the best way to deal with it was to ignore it. He'd just have to be stronger when she was around, at least for right now.

Emma smiled shyly, "The guys are great. They like me already, but that could have something to do with the fact that I made them cinnamon rolls this morning. I saved you one by the way. I'll get it for you later, after dinner. Sharing with Jake is just fine. He's a very considerate young man and he tries really hard to make sure that I have everything I need and that I'm comfortable. He has seemed to forgotten that I've been through all this before and that I'm no stranger to crab boats or crews. Oh well, it's nice that he's trying."

"Well, don't let him try to hard or for too long. He's got a job to do and I'd rather he focus on that." Sig chewed on the inside of his cheek. He needed her to walk away. She was wrecking havoc on his thinking process and he needed to find the crab. "Would you mind getting me a cup of coffee? I'm afraid that this is only the beginning of a very long night/day."

Emma nodded her head and vanished down the steps. Why did he feel like he was a teenager again? Why did he feel like he was developing a crush on his boat mother? Sig reached down and opened a drawer, pulling out a pack of cigarettes that he kept in there for emergencies such as these. He knew that he needed to work on cutting back but he also needed to clear his head and smoking was the best thing that he knew for that. He had just lit up when he heard noise behind him. He tried to hide the fact that he was smoking.

"I'm not going to say anything." Edgar chuckled and Sig turned around to glare at his younger brother. "What kind of brother would I be if I tattled on the captain?"

Sig snorted, "You'd be you and I wouldn't be surprised."

"Aww, thanks for the vote of confidence man. If I were going to tell anyone that you were breaking doctor's orders, it wouldn't be Emma. Oh no, I'd go straight to the top and I'd tell Lexi." Edgar handed Sig a cup of coffee. "Emma said that this was for you."

"You're evil, pure evil." Sig accepted the cup and looked at the swirling black liquid. "You didn't poison it did you?"

"I don't want to kill you, I just want to embarrass the hell outta you. You really couldn't be more obvious in your attempts to hide your feelings for Emma, if you tried. She even knows that you like her man, so why don't you just give in and see what happens." Edgar patted Sig on the shoulder and laughed when Sig swatted at him.

"I don't have time and this isn't the place to give into anything. If doesn't matter how I feel about Emma because nothing is going to happen. Why does everyone seem to think that I need to be dating?" Sig took a sip and flinched as the heat burned his tongue.

"Because you're grumpy and you need a good woman to put you in your place. I realize that Lexi does a damn good job at keeping you in line but she doesn't need to spend the rest of her life looking out for you. She has her own stuff going on but she won't let you stand on your own two feet until you tell her that you're ready. It isn't fair to her and you know that."

Sig knew it but didn't want to hear it. He wanted to be left alone and he wanted to do his job. He waved his hand at Edgar, urging him to go away. "Thank you for the coffee but I have things I need to do. I'm sure that there are things that could be done on deck. Why don't you see what you can do about that?"

Edgar knew when Sig had had enough and he knew when not to push his luck. It was too early in the season for the skipper to be on edge and Edgar could see that that was exactly where he was headed. "If you need me to take over for you, let me know." With that Edgar ducked off down the steps and ran into Emma in the galley. "He's a bit on the testy side at the moment. I'd probably let him be alone for the time being."

Emma gave him a sympathetic smile, "I get the feeling that he's not as okay with me being here as he said he was. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around him."

Edgar shrugged, "He's a difficult one to figure out but I wouldn't worry about it. He'll get used to you and in a matter of days things will fall into a routine. Just don't let him bully you. He likes to see how far he can push people but if you don't let him push you too hard then he'll respect you much quicker." Edgar patted her on the shoulder as he brushed past her and disappeared into the gear room.

* * *

It was really late. Sig put the boat on auto pilot and made his way down into the galley. Everything surrounding him was quiet and he appreciated the fact that his entire crew was sleeping. He would have woken Edgar up to take over the controls but Sig was too wired to sleep. His head was buried in the fridge, trying desperately to find something that would actually ease his rumbling stomach. Emma had made a great dinner but Sig had been too much on edge to really have eaten much. His hunt for nourishment was so engrossing that he didn't hear her come into the galley. He didn't hear her come to stand behind him. He didn't figure any of this out until he backed away from the fridge to shut the door and found himself entangled in her flailing arms. Sig turned quickly to make a grab for her, to keep her and him from falling to the floor. "Emma, are you okay?"

Emma held onto Sig until she figured she would be stable enough to not fall. She nodded her head and looked up at him, her eyes shining in the dimly lit space. "I think I'm alright. I should have made some noise but I thought that I could be quickly in and out and you would never know I had been here."

He was so close to her and he noticed that she smelled really good, like vanilla and chocolate. Sig unconsciously took a deep breath, trying to cement her scent to memory. He hadn't realized that his eyes had been closed until he opened them and saw her staring at him. "I probably should not have had my head buried in the fridge. Why are you looking at me like that?"

Emma blushed, embarrassed at being caught for staring. "I'm sorry," She stammered, "You had your eyes closed and you looked like you were deep in thought. I couldn't help myself. I guess I wanted to know what was running through your mind."

Sig felt her inch closer to this body. He wasn't ready for that, not here, not where someone could walk in on them. He let go of her arms and took a step backwards, his back pressing against the cold of the refrigerator. "I should probably get back upstairs." Sig looked at the ground, now too afraid to keep his eyes on her very pretty face.

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to wake me. I'm a very light sleeper and I don't mind be roused out of bed." Emma continued to move closer and with Sig's back into a corner, he had nowhere to go. "Of course, I could always keep you company. I doubt I'd be able to get back to sleep anytime soon and I'm sure that you could use someone to talk to."

Sig felt his heart start to thump against his chest and he prayed for the will to turn down her tempting offer. "As nice as that would be, I really think that you should get some sleep and I should be alone with my maps and charts. We're going to start fishing tomorrow and I want to be prepared for what to expect."

Emma looked disappointed, her eyelashes fluttering closed and then open again to look at Sig, "Okay." She backed away from Sig, giving him enough room to let him pass by her. She watched his retreating form and wondered how he could keep denying her advances. She was trying very hard to let him know that she was interested but maybe she was trying too hard. Maybe he wasn't ready to move forward, they barely knew one another, and she wasn't entirely sure what his back story was. She knew of the accident but she didn't know the details, other than Lexi had been hurt and his wife and youngest daughter had been killed. He also didn't know anything about her and she wasn't quite sure she was ready to open up and spill her guts to him quite yet. As Emma headed back to her room, she made the decision to back off until they were both ready to let the other into their tumultuous lives. She crawled into her bunk and lay there quietly, listening to the even breathing of the younger man above her. She slowly let the sleepiness that she had been feeling for hours take over her body and she let the soft rocking of the boat put her into an uneven and dream filled slumber.

* * *

Everything was starting to click. The crew had been baiting and setting pots all morning and Sig was fairly confident that he was in a good spot. They were prospecting of course, because he wasn't that confident but it was all part of the game. For the first half of the morning, Emma had stayed below and hadn't ventured up to the wheelhouse. However, about an hour ago she had poked her head into Sig's view and had asked permission to join him. He hadn't had the heart to say no and had told her she could sit in the co-captains chair. He had tried, really hard, to ignore that she was sitting there but the longer they sat in the space together the harder he found it was to ignore her. "Breakfast was good." Sig lamely tried to make conversation.

Emma turned to face him, a smile adorning her face. "I'm glad that you liked it. Jake made a request for it but I had to tweak yours a little…"

"Wait, mine was different?" Sig jumped in.

Emma giggled and Sig found himself liking the sound of her laugh. "Of course I changed yours. The original way would have gone against your diet. It's good to know that you can't tell the difference."

Sig's main focus was on the sea that stretched out before his boat but for a brief moment he snuck a look at Emma. The sun was shining at the moment and it bathed her in a ring of light. Her hair shimmered and she looked almost angelic as she sat curled up in the chair, her eyes closed. "Lexi would sit in that chair just like that. She'd sit there for hours, reading." Sig smiled at the thought momentarily before pushing it aside to regain his focus on the ocean.

"I'll bet you miss having her here." Emma wanted to know more about what made Sig tick but she was nervous about how to steer him in that direction. Lexi seemed like the perfect jumping off point.

Sig didn't turn to look at her, "I do and I don't. I worry more about here when she's on board but I miss that kid like crazy when she's not around. It's good though, for her not to be here, she so desperately needs a life of her own making, one that doesn't involve her babysitting me or of me hovering over here. What about you? You're away from your daughter."

Emma sighed, "As close as I'd like to think Jordan and I are, it is nothing compared to you and Lexi. I'm sure that Jordan misses me, I miss her a lot, but she's much too excited about being in Seattle to think much about it."

"She's a bit younger than Brandon, isn't she?" Sig was trying to keep the conversation going and as long as it stayed about their children, he felt that talking to her was safe for him.

"She's 21, just turned a few weeks ago. She's hated growing up in Dutch. She's always told me that she's worldlier than Dutch would ever allow her to be. When Lexi offered to let her come and stay…I thought I'd never hear the end of it. She's overjoyed to be moving to a city that will offer her choices in life." Emma glanced over at Sig and took a few moments to study his handsome features. He was definitely rough around the edges, but she had grown up around men like that and was very attracted to it. He was very good looking though, that she couldn't deny and it only added to his appeal.

"She will grow out of that stage. Lexi was starting to get that like before…" Sig stopped talking abruptly.

Emma realized that he had almost stumbled onto the topic of the accident and she couldn't quite figure out why he stopped, "Before what?"

Sig shook his head, "Never mind. It really isn't that important. I'm sure that Jordan will grow out of that phase in her life. Give her a few months in the big city and she'll soon realize how nice living in a small community really is." He wasn't sure why he had stopped talking when he almost mentioned the accident but for some reason, talking about it with Emma, here and now, just didn't feel right. "When you come to Seattle, what were you thinking about doing for work? I know that Edgar's wife has some connections. I'm sure that she could find you something."

"I have really good bookkeeping skills so I was thinking of trying to go in that direction. I was also thinking of maybe going back to school and trying something in the health field. Taking care of Mac sort of got me interested in nursing, so I thought maybe pursing that could be an option." Emma looked away from Sig and back out at the water. He was holding back from her and she was slightly hurt by that but figured he had his reasons. They were still new in one another's lives and maybe he just wasn't that comfortable sharing personal information with her, yet.

Sig wanted to apologize. He had seen the look on her face when he had cut himself short. She was hurt that he didn't feel like he could tell her things. "I think that would be a really cool thing. Lots of opportunities in that field and you are young enough that you could make a lucrative career out of it. Hey, it would be good for me. I'd know who to go too if I had issues with my health again. You're much nicer than Dr. Barker and better looking too."

Emma blushed, she couldn't help herself. "Well thank you, I guess. It probably would still be a good idea to visit your doctor but I like that idea of you coming to me first. "

Sig laughed, "Maybe you should just become a doctor and solve all of my problems for me."

Emma snorted, "I'm not sure that I want to spend the rest of my 'good' years in school. I'm too old to go to school to be a doctor but it's a nice thought." Emma looked out the window behind her at the crew scurrying around on deck. "What do you think the odds of me going out there are?"

Sig shot a look in her direction, "What? No you aren't going down there. The deck is too dangerous and I don't want you to get hurt. If you get hurt I have to go back to eating crap that will kill me. Besides that, you don't want to do what they do."

Emma shrugged, "Why not. I've helped out on a deck before. I do have an idea of what to do. Come on Sig, it's a nice afternoon and the ocean is calm. The guys will keep an eye on me and I will head inside at the first sign of danger."

Sig stared at her, shock written all over his face. He had to admire her spirit. Lexi had always wanted to help out on deck but he had firmly put his foot down on her helping. Emma, however, he couldn't really stop. If she really wanted to give it a shot, well he guessed that this once would be okay. "There should be some extra slicks in the gear room. Go suit up and have Edgar or Jake show you how to do bait. I want you to stay near the bait station though and I don't want you anywhere near the pots or the rail."

Emma nodded her head as she skipped down the steps. Sig shook his head. She really did seem to be everything that he needed. If only he could get over his fears and his apprehensions. If only he could just take that crucial step forward. The face of his wife flashed through his mind and guilt washed over him. No, this wasn't right. He couldn't do this, not here and not now. If anything were to happen, he guessed that they'd happen in their own time. That time, however, would have to wait for a different day.


	8. Chapter 8

It had been a week since they'd left Dutch. The fishing had been minimal a best and Sig was scratching his head trying to figure out where those little critters could be. He and Edgar were bent over charts, studying migration patterns. His head wasn't quite where it should be. Half of his thinking was on Emma and the other half was on trying to stop thinking of Emma. He needed to focus, to regain control. He needed her to stay out of his wheelhouse but he didn't have the heart to put his foot down on that. He really did enjoy her company but at the same time she was a distraction he couldn't afford.

Edgar elbowed Sig in the ribs, trying to get his attention. "Do you want me to take over for a bit? You look like you could use some sleep. I can drop a string, see where it leads us."

Sig figured that he would take Edgar up on his offer, "Yeah that sounds like a plan. Can you give me a little time? I'm gonna give Lexi a call and see how she's doing."

Edgar nodded and gathered up the notebooks and charts. "I'll be down in the galley going over these with Norman. Give me a holler when you're ready for me to take over."

Once Edgar was out of sight, Sig picked up the satellite phone and dialed his home number. He tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for her to answer the phone. He finally heard her pick up and say hello, "Where have you been? What took you so long to answer?"

"Well, 'hello' to you too dad. I don't spend my entire life sitting by the phone waiting for you to call. I have things that need to be done and people that need to be seen. What do you want?" Lexi had a smile on her face as she sat down on a kitchen stool.

"She's driving me crazy. I don't know how much more of this I can take. Don't get me wrong, she does a lot for me and the food is actually quite good but it seems that every time I turn around, there she is. She's in my wheelhouse constantly and I don't have the heart to tell her to leave. I can't concentrate Lexi and if I can't concentrate then I can't find the crab and it will take me that much longer to get my quota and get home." Sig took a few deep breaths and leaned back into his chair.

Lexi was quiet for a moment, "Does she drive you crazy like Edgar drives you crazy or is it more of a 'I need you, I want you, oh baby, oh baby' type of crazy?"

"Really, that's what you're going to give me? Geez, child you are going to be the death of me someday." Sig winced when he heard his daughter bust out into a fit of laughter and realized that he had just given himself away. "It's not what you think Lexi."

She was gasping for air and Sig had to roll his eyes, "I told you this would happen and if I remember correctly I told you to be easy. Just give in dad. There is no reason for you not to date Emma."

"How about the fact that it is too soon and I already feel like I'm betraying your mother by even looking or thinking about Emma in that sense? I can't do this Lexi. I'm not ready to do this." Sig felt a bit of satisfaction when Lexi stopped laughing and silence filled the other end of the line.

"Dad, what if it had been you in that car? What if it had been you that hadn't come home that night? Would you want mom to be alone? Would you want her to deal with everything on her own? Would you want her to come home to an empty house night after night?" Lexi spoke quietly and Sig knew that they were on unstable family grounds. The accident always made Lexi cry and Sig was feeling a bit bad that it had to be breeched.

"No, I would want your mother to be happy. I'd want her to find someone that would love and take care of her. I'd want someone there for you and Brandon. I'd want someone who would be able to support my family for the rest of their lives." Sig mentally smacked himself. It wasn't that he wasn't ready to move on. It's that he was completely petrified to move on. His daughter seemed to know this, like she seemed to know everything that was going on inside his head.

"Dad it is okay to be scared. Taking this big of a step would be frightening for anyone. I was scared to move on from Josh but I wouldn't change that decision for anything. Crosby has been one of the best things that has happened to me in the last few years and I want that same thing for you. Mom would want you to be happy and she'd want you to find someone that you could love. She knows that you'll never replace her. She knows that she'll always be your first true love. You can't cling to that forever, though. Eventually, you will need to start taking steps forward. It doesn't have to be with Emma but it will have to be with someone." Lexi closed her eyes, afraid that the tears would start to fall. "It is time that you did something for you and only you. You've thought too much about how I would feel and too much about how Brandon would feel and way too much about how mom would feel. The question is how does Sig feel? What does Sig want? Think hard about it dad. Really dig deep and be honest with yourself. I gotta get going, Jordan and I are going to go tour a couple campuses today. Are you going to be okay?"

Sig wasn't sure how to respond to that question. He wasn't sure that he was okay. She had said a lot of things that he hadn't thought about and now it was all he could do to try and keep them from completely taking over his thought process. He nodded his head, "I'm fine or I will be fine. Go and have fun but try to stay out of trouble and don't even think about bringing any of those college guys back home. I don't need to come home to a pregnant daughter or, for that matter, Emma's pregnant daughter."

"No one is going to get knocked up. You have nothing to worry about. Don't let what I said bother you too much, but don't ignore it either. You do need to think about what it is you want. I love you dad." Lexi's voice was still thick with emotion and Sig knew that she only wanted what was best for him.

"I love you too kiddo." He waited until he heard the phone click on her end before hanging up his phone. His mind was swimming with thoughts and answers that he didn't even know he possessed. What was it that he really wanted? That was a difficult question but he had a feeling that Emma had something to do with the answer.

* * *

Emma was up in his wheelhouse again. He'd allowed her to come up because he was tired of the quiet. Now he understood why Lexi had had such a hard time being out to sea when she had had emotional turmoil to deal with. It was hard being alone with nothing but your thoughts. He kept turning his head to look at her. He really did just need to suck it up and give in. Holding out and pretending that he wasn't interested wasn't fooling anyone and it was much harder than just playing 'easy'.

"You can talk to me Sig. I promise that I don't bite." Emma smiled at him and he tried to make himself relax.

"I know I can. I promise I'm not ignoring you on purpose. There is just a lot that needs my attention." Sig fiddled with the radar to prove a point.

"I get the feeling that you are ignoring me, or in the least avoiding me." Emma had to go and smack the preverbal nail on the head.

Sig was stuck between a rock and hard spot. He could tell her the truth and open up a door he wasn't sure he wanted open just yet or he could lie to her and then have to live with himself. "Have you talked to your daughter lately? You're always more than welcome to use the phone to call home." Avoiding the entire subject seemed like the best option.

"I haven't as of yet, but thank you for the offer." Emma sighed and pulled her knees up to her chest. "Sig can I ask you a question?" She watched as Sig nodded his head, "What exactly happened that night, five years ago?"

Sig didn't look at her. "It was a car accident." Short, simple, he didn't want to go into details.

"I understand that you probably don't want to talk about it, but Edgar mentioned something about the fact that you haven't really talked to anyone about it. It's been five years. Don't you think that it's time for you to open up?" Emma knew that she was bordering on crossing a line but she needed to get some sort of reaction out of him, she needed him to show some sort of emotion.

"I really don't think that it is any of your business. I would also appreciate it if you'd not ask my brothers or my son about what happened that night. It's not something that we talk about outside of the family." Sig was slowly starting to see red and he wasn't sure why he was getting so upset over her asking. It had just been something that he'd been thinking so much about since they'd left Dutch and even before then.

"I don't want to upset you Sig. I just want to feel like you'll talk to me. I want to be someone you can feel like you can confide in." Emma started back peddling.

"Emma, if I want to confine in someone I will call my daughter. Look, I realize that you're trying to help but you're here to watch out for my health, not my mind. I don't need a wife, I need a boat mother." Sig snapped at her and instantly regretted it. "I'm not trying to be mean. I'm just trying to get my point across. Nothing can happen between us. Not now and I'm afraid, not ever." The look that twisted onto Emma's face broke Sig's heart. He hadn't meant for those words to come out like that but he needed her to back off. He was putting up walls fast and he was hoping that they would keep her out until they could finish this trip.

"I guess it's time I took a hint. I thought that maybe there was something between us. Maybe it's just the fact that we're both lonely and we were sort of drawn to one another. I'll try to stay out of your way until this trip is over." Emma stood up and with her head bent down, walked towards the stairs.

"Emma…" Sig wasn't sure what he was going to say, "I'm sorry for being blunt. It really isn't that I don't want to talk to you. I just can't talk to you, not about that."

"It's fine Sig, you don't have to explain. However, I just want you to know that you aren't the only one who has had bad happen to them. Most people have dark pasts. The secret is having someone who won't judge, someone you can lean on. Someone you can always count on." With that said, she disappeared, leaving Sig with her parting words and more to think about.

Edgar had been standing in the galley when he heard the biting words come from Sig's mouth. He flinched a little when he heard Emma's retort. Edgar shook his head and folded his arms across his chest as Emma came down the stairs, tears already filling her brown eyes. "He doesn't mean it Emma. He just isn't used to having someone besides Lexi there to talk to. He doesn't know how to open up to people. He's never been very good at that."

Emma sniffed and wiped at her eyes, "I guess I just thought that maybe he'd see me as someone he could trust."

Edgar patted her shoulder as he let her slip past him. He watched as she disappeared into her stateroom and with a shrug of his shoulders climbed the steps to face his older brother. "You really should apologize to her." He said as Sig came into view, "She was just trying to be nice."

Sig was hunched down in his chair, looking rather dejected. "I shouldn't have said what I said, I realize that, but she can't just expect to be around for a week and think that I'm going to use her as a sounding board. I know she wants to feel like she's a part of all of this but it's too soon."

Edgar shook his head, "What are you talking about? She wants to be let in into your life, not our lives. This isn't about being a part of the crew, this is strictly about you. She wants to be someone that you can lean on, someone you can trust. You're always talking about how it isn't fair that Lexi has to bear all of the burden...well take a good look Sig, you've got someone right down there that is volunteering to take Lexi's place. Maybe it's about time you pulled your head out of your ass and stopped thinking so much about you. It is quite possible for there to be someone else in your life that is willing and ready to try and make you happy."

Sig looked at his younger brother, not quite sure what to make of what he was saying. "I don't really want to deal with this right now. I'll apologize to her later but for now can you just let me be, please."

* * *

Sig wanted to apologize, he really did, but every time he opened his mouth to say the words 'I'm sorry' he felt them get stuck in this throat. Apologizing meant talking and talking would lead to what he had been avoiding. He didn't want Emma to have hurt feelings, even though he knew it was a bit too late for that, but he didn't want to let her in, not yet. He wasn't sure how he did it, but he'd managed to avoid her for the better part of two days. His luck, however, was bound to run out.

He was rummaging through the galley for something to munch on. It was late and the rest of the crew was resting between strings. He'd managed to find the makings for a sandwich and was in the process of building it, when he heard padded footsteps getting closer. He looked and caught Emma standing in the middle of the floor, staring at him. "I was hungry," Was all Sig could mumble. He wasn't supposed to be late night snacking and he wasn't supposed to be eating what was currently spread out in front of him.

Emma didn't say a word. She just breezed past Sig and opened up one of the cabinet doors. Sig kept his head bent down, not wanting to confront her. He felt her stand next to him and he was forced to glance at her. "You know, if you want a late night snack, I could always fix you something. I'm not sleeping much anyway."

Sig blushed, guilt washing over him. "I didn't want to disturb you and I didn't know you weren't sleeping. Why aren't you sleeping?"

"I don't sleep really well in the best of circumstances and right now…it isn't very good." Emma brushed past him, his skin tingling slightly where the contact was made.

Sig shivered and tried to regain his composure. "Emma…." He wasn't sure that he wanted to continue going in this direction but the hurt on her face told him he'd made a huge mistake. "I'm really sorry about the way I acted the other day. I never should have said what I did and I never should have treated you that way."

"Sig, I'm just trying to be your friend…I'm not trying to replace your wife." Emma was still hurt and she wanted to bite back. She knew the reason he had been so snappy and yet his words had still hurt.

Sig chose to ignore her comment, not wanting to say something that he'd again end up regretting. "To tell you the truth Emma, I'm not sure what it is I want but I do know that right now I'm not ready to get into anything that is going to detract for my fishing and the lives of my crew."

"You sound just like my father and that cranky old man died all alone. Is that what you want for yourself Sig? Do you want to die alone? Your daughter isn't always going to be there for you." Emma was still pushing him.

"Emma I really want you to understand the fact that I can't talk about this. It's not that I don't want to, it's that I can't. Please try not to pry too much into my life and please be patient with me if I get snappy with you." Sig picked up his food and moved towards the stairs.

"I don't get it Sig. You act like you're interested and then you decide that we can't even be friends. We aren't in high school, we're adults and as adults we should be able to get over whatever is between us."Emma looked at him pleadingly, "I don't want to die alone either."

Sig wanted to take her into his arms and hold onto her. He wanted to be able to tell her that she wouldn't have to be alone, that he'd be with her. Instead he just shrugged his shoulders and turned his back on her, his mind swimming in guilt as he climbed each step. Why couldn't he just drop his defenses and do what he wanted? Why couldn't he listen to everyone around him and just embrace Emma? He knew that she'd make him happy and he'd offer her that comfort and support that she craved. He hated himself and he hated the fact that he was too stubborn to do what was right, for the both of them.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello to everyone!! I'm posting tonight because I am not sure how much time I will have later in the week (it's midterms...oh joy). Just a quick note saying thank you to everyone who reviewed...thank you all so very much. :) Enjoy.....**

His wheelhouse was quiet, almost too quiet. It had been days since his midnight run-in with Emma and since then she'd done exactly what he'd hired her to do, cook him meals and bring him coffee and try to keep him from smoking. She hadn't said much to him and she had completely avoided the wheelhouse unless it was to bring him something. The guilt was almost too much to bear and his productivity was failing miserably. He couldn't concentrate on doing what needed to be done. They should have caught more crab by this point but because his mind was elsewhere, he had had a very hard time finding and staying on the crab. Edgar was frustrated with him and his crew was on edge. He knew it was his fault but he couldn't seem to pull himself together.

"You look like shit and you really should get some sleep." Edgar placed a hand on the back of his brother's chair.

Sig hadn't heard Edgar enter his wheelhouse and his words echoed in the stillness. "Make some noise before you give an old man a heart attack. I'm fine Edgar. You can leave me alone now."

Edgar shook his head and gently tried to push Sig to a standing position. "The crew is irritable and we should be halfway home by now. Instead we've hardly made a dent and this isn't like you. Now go get some sleep, have a cup of coffee, take some time to yourself and do whatever it takes to get your head back in the fucking game so we can go home."

Sig was surprised at the tone in Edgar's voice. He looked at his younger brother and proceeded to stand. "Alright, I will go and get some sleep. Wake me up in about four hours."

Edgar stepped aside until Sig passed by, then flopped down in the vacated captain's chair. "I will wake you up when I feel like waking you up. At the moment, you've been demoted. You will be reinstated when your head is screwed back on right. This order, by the way, comes straight from the top."

"You called my daughter?" Sig mouth hung slightly open in shock, "Why would you involve her?"

"I had to call her because nothing I said or did was getting through to you. I thought that you'd snap yourself out of it but you didn't and I was out of options." Edger looked over his shoulder, "This is for your own good and you know it. Lexi said you can call her and yell at her if you want but she's sticking with her decision."

Sig grunted and stormed off down the stairs. He slammed his stateroom door shut for emphasis and crawled into bed. He was certain that he'd lay awake for hours, his mind wandering but as soon as his head hit the pillows, he was out.

Sig wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep but when he woke up there was a sandwich and a bottle of water sitting on the table next to his bed. There was also a note from Edgar telling him to stay in his room and continue to refocus his attention on fishing. Sig had a suspicious feeling that Lexi was stilling running the show and it made him laugh to think that even thousands of miles away she still had to babysit him. Edgar was right. Lexi was right. He needed to pull himself together if he was going to have a successful crab season. Instead of reaching for his food, he grabbed a few of the notebooks that were stacked up in the corner of his room.

Sig spent the next few hours studying and mapping out a course and a plan of action for the next few weeks. He was stubborn and it was about time that he used his stubbornness for good. After a shower, and a shave and wolfing down his sandwich, Sig decided that it was time for him to go back to work and reclaim his rightful spot in his captain's chair.

"So are you back?" Edgar didn't even bother to look at him as he entered his wheelhouse. "There won't be a need for me to call your daughter, will there?"

"Get out of my chair and get back to work." Sig was determined to make himself and everyone around him believe that he was ready to go. "You can call her if you want but I am not budging from this chair. We have some crab to catch Edgar, so let's get a little crabby." Sig cringed as he said it, realizing that he had just coined a phrase used by a Harris. "You know what I mean."

Edgar laughed as he moved out of Sig's way, "Glad to see you back boss. I hate doing your job."

Sig grinned but kept his head straight ahead. He didn't want Edgar to see the emotion he was displaying but he was happy to be back. He was focused and his mind was sharp. He knew where he wanted to go and proceeded to set a course north, towards the ice. The Time Bandit was up in that area and Sig hoped that there was some good fishing where they were at.

* * *

It didn't take long before Sig started feeling like himself again. He hadn't really thought about Emma in any capacity except boat mother and he had managed to drop three strings on new grounds. He was feeling lucky but at the same time was second guessing his decision to gamble so close to the ice. It was moving south at a rate much quicker than anticipated but he felt like this was his only shot at getting a good haul and getting home faster. The crew was working furiously, beating ice off the boat and dropping pots in between bash sessions. Emma had even joined them on deck, slinging the sledge hammer like a pro. It did make Sig want to rethink his stand on his love life but he knew that right now was not the time. He'd already been forced from captain's duties once this trip. He wouldn't allow that to happen again. The crew dropped the last of the allotted pots and Sig called them in for some warmth and some rest.

A few minutes late, Edgar came up the stairs, two steaming cups of coffee in his hands. "I figured you could use some caffeine, you've been up for a while now. Do you want me to wheel watch for a few so you can get some sleep?"

Sig was about to decline Edgar's offer but rethought his decision and nodded his head. "That would probably be a good idea. Give me about four hours then wake me up." Sig took the cup of coffee from Edgar as he vacated his chair. He could smell fried food as he approached the galley and his stomach started to growl.

"I made something for you. Are you hungry?" Emma held out a plate of food at Sig came into view. "It isn't quite what the guys are eating but hopefully it won't be too bad."

Sig happily accepted the plate and sat down at the galley table with the rest of his crew. "It looks and smells fantastic Emma, I'm sure that it tastes just as good." The conversation between them was slightly awkward but Sig was determined to act normal around her. He had to for the sake of his sanity and for the good of his crew. "It tastes great Emma."

"Thanks Sig, I have some extra if you want it." Emma brought over another pot of something that smelled terrific and set it down in the middle of the table. "I'm going to take a plate up to Edgar, if you boys want anything I will be back in a few minutes."

She disappeared upstairs and Sig couldn't help but watch her until she faded from sight. It was time to just push his inhabitations aside and let himself feel. She was a great women and Sig knew that he was being stupid for keeping her at arm's length.

"If you like her so much man, you really should just say something. The chemistry between the two of you is sickening." Nick stared at Sig, the fork in his hand inches from his mouth.

Sig didn't say anything. He just kept his head down and continued to eat his food. He was getting those feelings again and his heart was starting to beat just a little bit faster. Once he was done, he excused himself and went straight to his stateroom. He didn't fall asleep right away but flipped through pages of notes that he'd jotted down. He was starting to get sleepy and was about to set aside his reading material when there was a soft knock at the door.

Emma stuck her head into Sig's room, "I thought that maybe you'd like a cup of tea before you went to sleep. It will help you relax and get the most out of your few short hours."

Sig motioned her in and sat up a little taller, "Thanks Emma, I really appreciate it." She nodded and handed him the mug. "Emma, I just want to say that I'm sorry. I've been acting like the biggest prick and you don't deserve to have someone like me treat you like that."

Emma shut the door and turned around to look at the man she was falling for, "Sig, don't apologize. I'm sure that you have your reasons for doing what you did and I don't know you well enough to hold that against you. If you want me to back off and let you have your space I can do that. I just don't really understand all the mixed signals that you're sending in my direction. I figure I've been pretty up front with you and I just would like you to show me the same consideration."

"You're right Emma, you do deserve that and I wish that I could give you what you want. However, I'm not sure that here and now is the best time and or place to figure out if something could happen and if it would work. I really do have too much to think about and too many responsibilities and I've already screwed up enough for one season." Sig didn't want to hurt her anymore but he still needed her to see his side.

Emma sat down on the edge of Sig's bed, her eyes not leaving his face. "Sig, you aren't the only one to have experienced loss. You aren't the only one that has hurt." Emma took a deep breath and folded her hands in her lap, her eyes gazing down at her interlocking fingers. "When Jordan was a little girl, probably 6 or 7, her father, my husband, the man I was so desperately in love with, left one night. He left without a note, without a word, without an explanation as to why. He just packed his bags in the middle of the night and vanished. He left me wondering why, wondering what it was that I had done wrong. Wondering what it was that I hadn't done right. It took me years to realize that even if I was the reason why he left, he was the one who ultimately made the decision to bail on his family and, that, I couldn't be held responsible for. However, that didn't stop me from pining, from wishing and hoping that one day he'd come back to us, to me. I spent countless nights looking out my bedroom window, wishing that he'd be there, looking up at me. Many times I thought I saw him, standing in the driveway, doing just as I hoped for, but I'd blink and he'd be gone. It took a long time for me to move on, to realize that my life didn't stop because he left. The pain doesn't ever go away Sig. It's always there, gnawing at the back of your senses, always a reminder of what you once had. It does get easier though, that I can promise you. I also know that your wife would want you to be happy. She doesn't want you to forget, and we never forget. She does, however, want you to start over, to create a new life for yourself. Your kids are moving on. They're learning that the world still turns, the sun still rises and sets and the days still progress into weeks, into months. They, however, are picking up the broken pieces and are creating new lives of their own. Your wife would want for you what you want for your daughter. I'm not saying that the time to move on is now. That is to be determined by you. I'm also not saying that I'm the one you should move on with. I just want you to know that I don't plan on going anywhere. You've managed to suck me in Sig Hansen and I'm not sorry, not even for a second, that I've met you. I know that one day, eventually, you will mend your broken heart and you will learn what life is like again and I just hope that I'm the one standing next to you when you do." Emma stood up and with one last, final look at the man lying before her she turned and disappeared out the door.

Sig was left in the dark, alone with what Emma had said to him. He knew she was right, yet he was startled by her truthfulness, her bluntness. He had had no idea that she felt for him as strongly and as deeply as she did and that made his heart swell. Sig closed his eyes and leaned his head back against his pillows. "I will never stop loving you," He whispered softly. He turned over onto his side and struggled to fall asleep. A pain, a small dull ache, was keeping him from settling down. He rubbed his left arm and tried again to fall asleep. The pain was still there, only it ached more. He took a few deep breaths and tried to relax. That seemed to do the trick and he chalked the pain up to nothing more than heartburn, due to the massive amounts of food he had consumed only a short while ago. With the pain barely noticeable, Sig managed to drift off into an uneasy dream like state.

* * *

Sig woke a few hours later, his chest sore from the pain. He had learned though, through many years of fighting fatigue and pain, to push the discomfort aside and ignore it. He dressed quickly and walked into the galley, it was empty but there was a note on the fridge, directing him to the fact that there was food for him stored inside. Sig grabbed it and some coffee before heading up to the wheelhouse.

Edgar sat in the captain's chair, hunched over, staring out the window in front of him. Sig cleared his throat and Edgar pulled his eyes away to look at his older brother. "There is a storm coming and we are going to end up right in the middle of it."

Sig motioned for Edgar to move and sat down in his rightful chair. "What are the stats on the storm?"

"Hurricane force winds and 40 foot seas. Looks to me like this is going to be the storm this season. I say we haul and rebait as many pots as we can and drop the remainder that we have on deck. Then we should find some cover and wait this sucker out." Edgar wasn't usually one who liked to run and hide. As a Hansen and a Norwegian, he was used to battling and surviving all kinds of weather. However, this year felt different. They had Emma to think about, not to mention the fact that his nephew was on the ship as well. He was tired of pushing his odds and taking risks that he knew he shouldn't, it was time to play it a bit safe.

Sig nodded his head, "Tell the guys that we are going to be working fast and hard. Once the edge of this storm hits, I want to be headed for St. Paul." Edgar left without a word and Sig glanced back behind him at his scurrying crew. Emma was in the midst of them, filling bait bags and helping them beat off the ice. He was a little worried about her being out there, vulnerable to the turbulent seas. He picked up his hand piece and was about to tell her to get inside, when a small wave came crashing over the side of the boat. It drenched Jake and Matt and for a few seconds Sig couldn't find Emma. "Is everyone alright? Where's Emma?" Panic started to take over and he frantically searched the deck for any sign of her. "Will someone please answer me? Where is Emma?" The pain in his chest started to intensify but he pushed it aside, worrying about more important things. He saw his men scramble around on the deck, all of their attention concentrated on the one corner of the deck he couldn't see. He clutched at his chest, the pain pulling at his senses. "Is she alright, is everyone all right?" He waited, finally pushing open the door and braving the icy chill that stung at his skin. He leaned far over the railing, trying to see what everyone was huddled around. "Dammit, will someone please tell me what is going on?"

Nick pulled himself from the cluster on deck and looked up at his captain, "Emma got drenched pretty good with the wave and we're trying to make sure she's okay. Edgar is moving her into the galley now so that we can get her into some dry clothes."

"Take her to my stateroom. I will be done in a second and send Norman up here to watch the wheel." Sig yelled as he pushed himself away from the rail and ran back into his wheelhouse.

He rushed down the steps and stopped short, so as not to run into Jake and Matt as they helped Edgar carry Emma into Sig's stateroom. "Is she okay?" All heads present nodded and Sig felt a rush of relief. The pain in his chest didn't stop though, it only seemed to get stronger but he still pushed to ignore it, focusing on the more pressing issues at hand. "Jake, run and get Emma some dry clothes and Matt, we need some towels and a couple of blankets. Also, will you get some water boiling, but first I want you and Jake to get out of your wet clothes and into some dry stuff. I need the two of you and I can't afford to have a man down." Sig turned his attention to Emma who sat on the edge of his bed, wrapped up in blankets, shivering, her teeth chattering loudly. "I'm sorry Emma but we have to get you out of your wet clothes, there isn't any time for modesty." Sig watched as she nodded and then he, with caution, started to strip off her layers of clothing.

It was only a matter of a few short minutes before he had her changed into dry clothes and wrapped up in dry, warm blankets. He also had her nursing a cup of hot tea and wouldn't let her leave his stateroom. He was moving back and forth, between galley, his wheelhouse and his stateroom. Emma kept protesting that she was fine and that she needed to start making food for the guys and that he needed to get back up to the wheel so that they could do what they needed to do so they could get out of the this storm. He knew that she was right and after pushing, he finally agreed to let her get up and start moving around.

"I really am fine Sig," She pulled the blanket around her body as she stood up. "Are you all right though, you look a little pale?"

Sig nodded his head, the pain in his chest pulsating, "I'm all right. I'm going to go and relieve Norman. If you need anything, make sure that you tell me."

Emma nodded and watched as Sig left the room. He had noticed him flinch and lightly rub his chest and that worried her. She had seen those same signs before, in her father, and she feared that Sig's earlier chest issues were starting to rear their ugly heads once again.


	10. Chapter 10

**So midterms are over (thank goodness) and I feel like I am able to breathe once again. :) Thank you to everyone who takes the time to review this story, I've had a lot of fun writing it. Remember I own nothing and enjoy reading. **

Emma fixed the crew some sandwiches and took them out to the gear room. The guys were working furiously, trying to get crab hauled and pots dropped before the brunt of the storm hit them head on. She had already taken up precious moments of their time as they dealt with her getting hit by a wave. She was fine. The water had just been so cold that it had sent her into shock. However, once she had been brought inside and her clothes had been changed, she had started to feel much better. She was currently sitting at the galley table, a mug of coffee held between her hands. She was still shivering a little but she figured it was mostly residual shakes. She glanced over at the stairs that lead to the wheelhouse and resisted the urge to climb them. She was worried about Sig and the paleness of his skin when he had left his room. She wanted to make sure that he was okay but she was afraid that he'd just shrug her off and tell her that he was fine. She knew he wasn't feeling well but she wasn't sure how she was going to intervene. She fought with herself, going back and forth on whether or not she should go and talk to him, before finally deciding that it was better to have him yell at her then to not know what was going on. She stood up from her spot at the table and bundling the blankets around her, she carefully plodded up each step. Once she could see Sig, he knew that her assumptions had been correct. He was doubled over, his right arm clutching his left. Emma let the blanket slide down to the ground as she ran towards the sick captain. "Sig, what's wrong? Talk to me." Emma sat back in shock when Sig's blood shot eyes looked up at her. Tears were streaming down his face and he acted as if he couldn't breathe. "Sig, I need to get you some aspirin. You have to lie down on the floor." Emma crawled over to the blanket she had discarded and spread it out on the floor. She reached into one of the lower cupboards and pulled out a yellow box. She reached in and pulled out a small bottle of aspirin. She shook one from the bottle and made her way back to Sig. "Open your mouth Sig, I need you to chew this." Emma placed the small white pill in Sig's mouth and waited.

Emma heard footsteps but she was too focused on Sig to pay attention to anything. "Hey Sig, I think that we've hauled enough, the storm is starting to get pretty bad out there….What the hell happened?" Edgar kneeled down next to Emma, "Is he okay?"

Emma shook her head, "I'm not sure. I gave him some aspirin in case he's having heart issues and that has actually seemed to help a little bit but I'm not sure what is wrong. He was hunched over when I came up here and he was clutching his left arm. I know from experience that that is a really good sign of a heart attack."

Edgar pulled himself up into the captain's chair and, over the hailer, told the crew to come inside. He set a course for St. Paul and then reached for the radio. "I really think that we should call the Coast Guard. If he's having heart problems, then we are in over our head, there is no way we can handle something that serious."

Emma just nodded her head, agreeing with everything that he said but unable to pull her eyes away from Sig's face. "How long do you think it will take for them to get here?"

"I have no idea, but we aren't too far from St. Paul, so I wouldn't think that it would take them more than an hour. He has an hour doesn't he?" Edgar punched in the appropriate channel.

"His heart rate has slowed and his breathing seems to be a bit more normal. I'm sure that he'll be fine until the Coast Guard can get here." Emma looked up at Edgar, noticing, for the first time the fear that was present in his eyes. "He's going to be fine Edgar."

* * *

Edgar radioed the Coast Guard and gave him the details, Emma piping in with the ones he didn't know. Sig continued to lie motionless in Emma's arms but she kept a close eye on his vitals and, as far as she could tell, all seemed to be good. The Coast Guard had informed them that their ETA was about forty-five minutes, so Edgar and Emma decided that they should tell the rest of the crew what was going on. Edgar volunteered, leaving Emma with Sig, and as she sat there, alone with him in the wheelhouse, she began to wonder if he really would be okay after. She was staring straight ahead, her eyes focusing on nothing but her mind going a million miles an hour, when Sig stirred in her arms. She looked down and saw that he was looking up at her. "Hey, how are you feeling?" Sig blinked a couple of times and tried to sit up but Emma placed her hands on his chest and shoulders and forced him to remain still. "You've got to stay still Sig. The Coast Guard is on their way."

Sig shook his head, "There isn't a need for the Coast Guard and I'm just fine."

Emma refused to budge, "You've been out cold for the last twenty minutes Sig, there is no way in hell I'm going to allow you to just shrug this off and act like nothing is wrong."

"The pain is manageable. It isn't that bad at the moment." Sig tried again to sit up but Emma pushed down on his shoulders harder. "Emma look at me," He waited until her dark eyes met his, "I am fine, there isn't a need for the Coast Guard."

Tears started to swarm Emma's eyes and she tried desperately to blink them back. "Sig, I don't want anything to happen to you. I want to make sure that you really are okay and the only way to do that is for a medical professional to check you out. I can't just let you say you're okay when you've been struggling with chest pains."

Sig reached up and cupped Emma's cheek in the palm of his hand, "Please don't cry." With his fingertips, he gently brushed away the tears that had escaped.

Edgar came back up the stairs and saw Sig awake, "Sig, how are you feeling man?"

Sig tried again to sit up and this time Emma relented. "I'm feeling better. Call off the Coast Guard, there isn't a need."

Edgar shook his head, "You at least need to be checked out man. Let them take you to St. Paul. We're headed there anyway. If you're fine then you can get back on."

Sig made to protest but Emma's grasp on his arm tightened, "I guess I can handle that. I still don't like it but it looks like I'm out numbered. I want to be in my room though until they come. Edgar can you help me?"

Emma stood up and moved out of the way. Edgar stood behind Sig and slowly helped him to his feet. Emma followed them downstairs and into Sig's room. Edgar made sure that Sig was comfortable before going back up to the wheelhouse to wait for the Coast Guard.

Emma sat down on the edge of Sig's bed and looked down at him. "How is the pain?"

"It's there but it isn't as bad as it was." Sig rubbed at his chest, "It's never been like this before. It really freaked me out."

Emma reached over and took Sig's hand in hers, "Sig, it really would be for the best if you went back to Seattle. I know you don't want to but you aren't going to get the care you need at a clinic on a remote island. You need major medical attention."

Sig squeezed Emma's hand, "I know that you're worried but I'm not going back. I'm going to finish this season and then we'll look into doing what needs to be done. Fishing comes first, always has, always will."

"That's stupid and it will kill you, like it killed my dad. I know that fishing is important but so is your health. You can't fish if you're dead." Emma shook her head and met Sig's gaze head on. "I want to see you around for a while."

"Emma I'm fine and I'm going to be fine. You really shouldn't worry." Sig pulled on Emma's hand, bringing her closer to him. "I plan on being around for a very long time. I have a life to live after all." He continued to pull on her until her face was inches from his. His eyes searched hers before leaning up. His lips slowly pressed against hers, deepening the pressure when she responded to his touch.

She pulled away first, her eyes closed and a look of bliss on her face. "Sig…" She was speechless. She had wanted him to do that for a long time but never thought that he actually would. She wasn't sure why he was doing it now and she really didn't care.

"Emma, you were right. I do need to start picking up the pieces and starting my life again. I'm not sure if this is really me talking or if it's the pain and the fear but I want to find out. I want you to be there, I don't want you to go anywhere." Sig rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand, her skin as soft as he remembered it being the first time he'd touched it.

"I already told you, I'm not leaving you. I will be here." Emma stared down at their hands, not believing that they were having this moment.

There was a soft knock at the door before it opened and Nick stuck his head through, "The Coast Guard is here. Do you need some help?"

Sig nodded and slowly moved himself to the edge of the bed. He pulled back the blankets and swung his legs around. His feet hit the ground and with Nick's help, stood up. Emma grabbed Sig a jacket and placed it around his shoulders. The entire crew went out on the deck with their captain and watched as he started to climb into the basket that would lift him up into the awaiting helicopter.

Sig looked at Emma, "Take care of my guys for me." He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead, "I will see you in St. Paul." He gave her hand a squeeze. With help he sat down in the basket and the crew watched as he disappeared into the bowels of the chopper.

Emma turned to look at Edgar, "How long until we get to St. Paul?"

"It will probably take us another six hours to get there. It could be longer though depending on this storm. Don't worry Emma we'll get there as fast as we can." Edgar ducked back inside.

Emma stood out on the deck, the storm building up speed around her, and watched as the Coast Guard helicopter slowly disappeared. She sighed and silently prayed that Sig would be okay and that they would get to him quickly.

* * *

Edgar steered the Northwestern carefully through the ice. Their progression had slowed considerably once they had gotten closer to St. Paul. The ice choked off the island and Edgar had to inch the boat along as not to cause more problem. Emma paced back and forth, her anxiety level climbing with each minute passed. She wanted to get in to see Sig, she needed to see Sig. They hadn't heard from him since the Coast Guard had taken him away and the entire crew wanted to know how their captain was doing.

"Emma would you please sit down, you're making me nervous." Edgar looked over at her.

Emma quickly sat down in the vacant chair, "I'm sorry Edgar. I'm just having a hard time sitting still."

"I want to know how he's doing as badly as you do. I'm sure that he'll be okay. We just need to relax a little. This ice is putting all of us on edge enough." Edgar cringed as the boat slide over a large chunk, the sound of it scraping along the hull of the ship.

"How far out are we?" Emma knew that it didn't matter how far away they were, it would still take them a long time, probably hours, to get to Sig.

"I have no idea, a couple miles maybe." Edgar peered through the darkness, trying to see if there was a path they could take that would get them there quicker.

It took them another two hours before they were at the mouth of the harbor and there, the ice was even more solid. Edgar wasn't sure if they should even try to get through but the harbor master gave them permission and with Emma's insistence, Edgar pushed the Northwestern forward.

It was an agonizing final last approach. The boat inched on, getting closer and closer to their destination but it still seemed like it was a million miles away. Emma was back on her feet, she didn't pace but she knew that she couldn't sit still, not when Sig was so close.

Edgar had called ahead and had a car waiting for them. It took some time to get the boat stopped and pulled up close enough to the dock that they could get off. Nick, Matt, and Norman volunteered to stay behind while the remaining four piled into the truck and drove the short distance to the clinic.

Jake pushed open the doors and they all walked into the clean white room. The woman at the reception desk looked up at them and smiled, "Are you here to see Sig Hansen?" All of them nodded simultaneously and she pointed off down the hallway, "He's down there, in exam room 3."

Emma led the way, she was too anxious to see him, to make sure that he was okay. She stopped at the closed door, almost afraid to push it open but more afraid to just sit by and wait. She turned the knob and allowed the door to swing, revealing Sig sitting in a chair by the window. He looked dejected and sad and Emma rushed over to him. "Sig are you okay?"

He looked up at her, a smile playing on his lips. "You guys made pretty good time. I'm feeling better. They gave me some stuff for the pain." He looked past Emma, to glance at the reminder of his crew, "The bad news is, I can't go back out. They don't have the means or equipment to do all the tests that they need in order to get a definitive diagnosis, so they are sending me home." Sig shrugged his shoulders, "Who would have ever thought that I'd be in this position? Forced to go home and leave my boat during crab season. I tried to fight it, I really did, but the Coast Guard said that they'd put a hold on my license so that we couldn't cash in our quota. I've already called Lexi. She'll be waiting for me at the airport. I'm supposed to leave here as soon as the storm lets up."

Edgar and Emma stood side-by-side, not believing the words that were coming out of Sig's mouth. "You can't go home," Edgar took a step closer, "We need you, the ship needs you."

"You're going to have to do it without me Ed. They are telling me that if I don't get this taken care of, that there might not be a next time. I can't risk that, I can't risk leaving Lexi and Brandon alone." Sig slouched down further in his seat, the thought of leaving weighing heavily on his mind.

"I'm going to come with you." Emma kneeled down in front of Sig, taking his hands in hers. "I can't let you fly back on your own, you'll need me."

Sig brought her hands up to his lips and kissed them softly, "I need you to stay here Emma. I need you to keep an eye on my boat and on my crew. They are going to need you and your strength. Do this for me, please?"

Emma stared at Sig, hoping that he was joking, but the look on his face told her he was serious. "Okay, I'll finish up the season but, for the record, I'm not happy about it."

Sig laughed, "It will be over before you know it and when you get back, I should be as good as new, maybe even better."

They took Sig back to the boat and waited for the storm to blow over. It was an uneasy wait. No one wanted Sig to leave and Sig, himself, wanted nothing more than to stay with his beloved ship and his crew. When the call came through that the plane was ready for takeoff, Sig turned to the miserable looking faces that surrounded him. "I'll be fine guys and you will be fine without me. Just work hard and work fast and you'll fill the quota and be back home." He pulled Brandon to him and hugged his son. "Be good and pay attention to everything that Edgar tells you." Sig looked over at his brothers and they both just nodded their heads. Emma just stood there, not wanting to say anything for fear that the tears would come. She didn't want to cry, she just wanted this nightmare to be over. She wanted Sig to stay. She wanted for him to be okay. Sig reached for her hand and she followed silently behind him and Edgar. Edgar climbed into the car and patiently waited for Sig.

Emma stepped closer to the captain and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Call when you get home, I want to make sure that you're okay."

"I will call. Try not to worry too much about me, everything will be just fine. There is nothing to worry about." Sig leaned in and kissed her, pulling her closer to him, their bodies pressed together tightly. He pulled away reluctantly and climbed into the truck without a word.

Emma watched as they pulled away, a small single tear slipping down her frozen cheek.


	11. Chapter 11

**I am really sorry, I had the wrong chapter posted and didn't realize I had done that until someone mentioned it. It should be fixed now and the real chapter 11 should be up.**

**I am sad to announce that this is the last chapter. I hope that everyone has enjoyed reading it and I'd like to thank all of my loyal reviewers. This will not be the last of the Lexi stories, but it will be the last for awhile. Have no fear though, I do have ideas brewing and once Christmas break hits, I will create another story. Again, I don't own anything to do with DC or Discovery. **

Lexi sat in her car, her fingers drumming against the steering wheel. Where was he? He should have been here by now. She glanced again at the sliding doors of the baggage claim. Nothing, he wasn't anywhere in sight. She knew that she was pushing her luck with just sitting and waiting. She'd seen the airport cop make the rounds and tell cars ahead of her that they had to go around the circle again, that they couldn't just sit and wait. Lexi's foot bounced up and down impatiently. She was worried about her father, had been ever since he'd called her from the clinic in St. Paul. She wasn't sure how she felt about his new ailment but she was happy that he'd been forced to come home and that he hadn't put up much of a fight. She saw the cop out of the corner of her eye. He was getting closer and closer to her car. She glanced again at the airport doors and, finally, she saw the blond head of her father through the throng of people.

She climbed out of her car into the nippy Seattle air and waited, her arms folded across her chest to keep in the warmth. As he got closer, she couldn't help but smile. It was good to see him, even if the circumstances, under which he was here, sucked. "How are you doing, old man?"

"I've been better but I feel all right." He smiled and pulled his daughter into his arms, holding her close to him. "I missed you kid."

"Well, let's get you home and fed. You look a little pale. I called Dr. Barker earlier and you have an appointment first thing. Are you sure you want to go back to him? He didn't catch the issue the first time around, maybe we should try someone else." Lexi opened the car door for her father and proceeded to throw his bags into the trunk.

"You could let me drive. I'm not incapable of doing anything." Sig clicked his seatbelt into place, turning to look at Lexi.

She shook her head, "My car, I'm driving. It's as simple as that and it has nothing to do with your capabilities."

Sig laughed and leaned back. It was good to be home but his mind wandered up to the Bering Sea and the ship he'd left entrusted to someone else. It worried him, yet he felt good knowing that Edgar and Norman were proficient in keeping things afloat.

* * *

It had been a long week, a long week of doctor's visits and tests and more tests and more doctors' visits. Sig was tired of being poked and prodded and told that the diagnosis was still unknown. It was frustrating for both Sig and Lexi to go day in and day out without knowing for sure what was wrong.

Lexi was sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee in her hands. She glanced over at her father as he sat at the counter, the phone held tightly in his fingers. "Dad, clinging to the phone isn't going to make it ring. We'll know soon enough. The specialist was quite certain that he knew what was wrong and he'll let us know as soon as he has his proof. Relax a little bit, go watch some television."

Sig scoffed and pushed away from the counter. He placed the phone on the table near Lexi and walked from the room.

Lexi sighed. She hated seeing her father this miserable, this anxious to know what was going on. He hated not being in control and this was the worst. Something terrible was going on with his body and he couldn't do anything to stop it. He was at the mercy of the many specialists that kept telling him that they could figure it out. The phone started to ring and startled Lexi out of her thoughts. "Hello?"

"How is he doing?" Edgar's voice crackled over the line.

"Not so well. He's frustrated and it's driving him crazy. We still don't know exactly what is wrong. We spent the afternoon at a cardiac specialist and he had to go through a series of tests. The doctor said that it is more than likely a blockage in an artery and that he'll know more once he reviews the procedure. He also said that dad will probably have to go in for some sort of surgery. He described it but I didn't quite understand it all. I was going to look it up and do some research. The doctor said that it would be an outpatient procedure and that there is minimal risk involved." It felt good to have someone to talk too about what was going on. Jordan hadn't been around much, choosing to spend some time at a friend's house.

"We can dump everything and come back if you need us there. This is a lot for just you to handle." Edgar sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"No, stay and finish up the season. He'd just get angry if you quit now." Lexi said.

"We're getting close to being finished. One more trip should be enough. Emma has been asking me every day to call. She's worried about him. We're all worried about him." Edgar breathed heavily, the worry evident in this voice.

Lexi shook her head. Her father needed to be fixed. He needed to be better, for the sake of everyone. "I promise you that I will call as soon as I know something. Do you want to talk to Sig?" Lexi walked into her father's den.

"You better let me fill him in on what's going on up here. I'm sure that it's been on his mind." Edgar laughed and Lexi giggled along with him.

"Phone is for you," Lexi held the receiver out to her father. He looked up at her and without a word took it from her. Lexi turned and left quietly, leaving her father to talk business with her uncle.

* * *

Sig hated hospitals. He hated doctor's offices. He hated clinics. He hated being in them and he hated having to depend on them. He now knew what was wrong with him and now he was here to deal with it. It required him to be put to sleep. It required him to once again rely on a physician to do their job correctly. He'd spent the last couple of weeks dealing with incompetence and now he had to trust that one would do the right thing, at the right time. He was nervous, very nervous. Lexi sat next to him, her hand on his arm, showing him her reassurance. He glanced over at her and she smiled up at him. She had told him again and again that he would be fine, that everything would be fine. He wondered if she was tired of saying that for it had been a constant saying over the last few days. He wondered if she believed it herself.

His name was called and, with a deep breath, he stood up and walked steadily towards the door that would make or break his fate. He glanced behind him, his daughter smiled shyly at him. He walked through the door and as it closed behind him, he disappeared from sight.

* * *

Sig was tired and he was weak but he felt good. The pain in his chest was gone. The labored breathing had returned to normal and he felt like the world had been lifted from his shoulders. He wanted to go home and crawl into bed and sleep for an eternity. His body felt heavy and his eyelids drooped. Lexi helped him to the car and he settled in, trying to find a comfortable spot.

Lexi slide into the driver's seat and pulled the car out of the hospital parking lot. She glanced over at her father, a smile coming across her face. "Your color seems to have come back. How are you feeling?"

Sig just nodded his head.

Lexi laughed, "What, we aren't talking now?"

"Shhh…I like the silence." Sig closed his eyes and leaned back.

Lexi smiled and drove the rest of the way home without saying a word.

She pulled into their driveway and turned off the ignition. She glanced over at her father and smiled. He looked peaceful, the first time in weeks. She didn't want to wake him but she knew that he'd be more comfortable inside, in his own room, in his own bed. She reached over and gently tapped him on his shoulder. "Dad, wake up. We're home and I'm sure that you want to go to bed."

Sig moaned and rolled over to face her, "Do I have to get up?"

Lexi giggled, "If you can sleepwalk to your room then no, you don't have to get up. You don't want to sleep in the car though."

Sig groaned and reached for his seatbelt. Lexi climbed out of the car and ran around to Sig's side. She opened the door and carefully helped him out. With an arm around his waist, they slowly made their way up the walk and into their house.

* * *

Sig slept for about three days straight. He didn't come out of his room during that entire time. Lexi would take him food and make sure that he got plenty to drink. She also made sure that he took the medication that the doctor had prescribed. She was worried about him. He was doing much better physically but emotionally he seemed to have shut himself off. She couldn't figure out why he was going through such a slump but she relented to the fact that there wasn't anything she could do for him. Edgar and Brandon would be back soon and then she wouldn't have to worry by herself anymore. Lexi hadn't left the house. She was afraid to leave Sig alone. She was just ready for things to go back to normal, or as normal as they got around here.

Currently, she was sitting at the kitchen counter, waiting for her father to wake up so that she could take him some lunch. She drummed her fingers on the granite and hummed quietly to herself. The house was quiet. It had been quiet ever since she'd brought him back from the hospital. Jordan, not wanting to intrude, had moved in with a friend of hers. Lexi wasn't at all surprised at how quickly Jordan had adapted to her new life. She'd found a job and was enrolled and ready to start school in the spring. Jordan had even gone so far as to start looking for apartments and rental homes. She was ecstatic to be moving to Seattle and she couldn't wait to share that excitement with her mother. Lexi smiled at the thought of Emma and Jordan reuniting. Jordan had tried to put on a brave face, but Lexi had recognized the all too familiar look of someone who missed their mother, a lot.

The doorbell rang and it forced Lexi to emerge from her thoughts. She shook her head, wondering who could possibly be here. She wasn't expecting anyone and everyone that knew that Sig was home had been told not to visit until he was up and about again.

She didn't bother with the peep hole, they lived in a quiet community on the outskirts of Seattle, but when she opened the door, the sight that stood before her made her heart soar.

She reached out and grabbed a hold of his shirt, pulling him towards her. "I missed you so much Cros, so much. What you doing back so soon? I thought you were going to call?"

Crosby smiled and kissed the top of Lexi's head. "I bumped into Edgar in Dutch and he filled me in on what's been going on. I couldn't make you wait longer for me to get home, so we all flew back together. We figured that we'd surprise you, and we knew that you could use the help."

Lexi clung to him tighter, "Thank you." She stood on her tiptoes and gently pressed her lips to his. She breathed in deeply, relishing the all too familiar smell.

Edgar pushed past them and walked into the house, "Where is he?"

Lexi pulled away from Crosby briefly, "He's in his room, sleeping. Let him wake up on his own, he's much easier to contend with. He's been very grumpy and hasn't been very sociable since he got home." Lexi hadn't seen her, but Emma suddenly appeared next to Crosby.

"Can I go see him? He would want to see me." Emma's hands were clenched in front of her and her head was down, her eyes staring at the ground.

It didn't take a genius to figure out that something had gone on between Sig and Emma and at that thought, Lexi smiled. "His room is the last one on the left. I wouldn't knock, just slip inside."

Sig was dreaming. He had to be dreaming. It was a good dream though. He was dreaming of Emma, of her vanilla and chocolate scent, of her hands running through his hair, of her being with him. He wanted very much for the dream to be true, for her to be here with him. He needed her, more than he ever thought he would. He'd been stupid to think that he could have a life without her. She'd only been in his life for a short period of time but in that time, she'd managed to change his way of thinking. He didn't want to be alone anymore. He wanted to be with Emma.

The presence of someone in his room felt so real. He figured it was just his daughter, but someone was touching him. Someone was stroking his cheek. He opened an eye and caught sight of Emma's beautiful face. Okay, now he knew he was dreaming.

"Sig, are you awake?" Emma's voice penetrated the thickness in his head.

Both eyes were now open and Emma was staring down at him, a soft smile displayed on her face. "When did you get here? I thought I was dreaming?"

She giggled, "Just a few minutes ago. We finished our offload and hurried back from Dutch. We were all so worried about you. We just wanted to see for ourselves that you were okay." Emma took Sig's hand in hers, "I missed you so much Sig."

"I missed you too," He pulled on her hand, begging her to come closer. She leaned into him, kissing his lips with hunger. He smiled through the kiss and tugged at the covers, lifting them up so that she could slide underneath them. He wrapped his arms around her waist, sliding her body closer to his. "I'm good now Emma and I'm going to be around for a long time. I want you there with me. I don't want either of us to be alone, anymore."

Emma smiled and pressed her lips to his once more, "There isn't anywhere else I'd rather be. I do adore you Sig Hansen and I always will."

* * *

Hours later the two emerged, unbeknownst to the fact that a crowd had gathered in the kitchen, Sig was the first to appear and was quickly surrounded by his crew and his family.

"Good to know that you can still perform," Edgar laughed and slapped his older brother on the shoulder. "All I have to say is that it's about damn time."

Sig snorted and Emma blushed. Brandon hugged his father, "You had us all scared to death old man. I'm glad that you're okay." Sig hugged his son back, glad that his family had gotten home safely.

"So how did we do?" Sig had been curious and wanted to get the attention off of him.

"We did really well," Edgar answered, "The boat is good and we all have fat checks in our pockets."

Lexi leaned forward and kissed her dad's cheek. "Feeling better?"

Sig nodded and pulled her to him, "Thank you, for everything."

Lexi shrugged, "It's what I'm for. Someone has to keep an eye on you, but it looks like I may have to give the job over to Emma here. I have to say, it's about time dad."

Sig shook his head, "I don't want to hear an 'I told you so'."

Lexi placed a hand over her heart, "I would never say that, even though, I did tell you so." She ducked as Sig faked a lung at her.

The group around them laughed and Sig finally realized that even when bad things happen in life, it is no reason to bury one's head and shut off one's self from the world. His family had grown in the last few years and he was ready for it to continue growing. He missed his wife, he missed his youngest daughter and he always would but he had a son and daughter to worry about and now he had Emma as well. He glanced over at her, she was laughing at something that Lexi said, and the sight made Sig's heart pound against his ribs.


End file.
